You Rub Me the Wrong Way
by King in Yellow
Summary: Post high school. Post college. Kim, Ron, and Wade start It's Possible, to remain heroes and help others. A new business always struggles and it becomes more difficult when a grateful client presents them an ancient lamp. Robin Williams doesn't supply the voice for this shapely genie. Ron wants to wed Kim, the genie wants to bed Kim, and Kim just wants peace in the office. Not BEU.
1. You Rub Me the Wrong Way

This is not a complete story. It is more of a setup for future stories. At the moment I have no definite plans for continuation, but if ideas come I can add chapters to Kim's attempts at turning her new venture, It's Possible, into a professional operation.

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners.

**You Rub Me the Wrong Way**

"I liked the good old days," Kim commented as she and Ron rode to Zatari Embassy in the back of a US diplomatic limo, "when we worked for free."

"But we couldn't keep doing it for free," Ron reminded her. "Unless we wanted to sponge off our parents. But I agree with you, it was more fun when it wasn't a job." _"And a lot more fun when we were dating. This 'Ron, we have to keep our relationship professional' sucks."_

"I still don't see why the Sheik flew in from Zatari and we need an audience with him," Kim repeated to Ruby Walker, their State Department liaison. "Our colleague, Wade Load, normally just sends a bill based on the difficulty of the job and the client's ability to pay."

"The Sheik made the request himself. The US wants to maintain good relations with all the Gulf sheikdoms, you don't want to show disrespect," the woman told her.

"Do we at least get lunch out of this?" Ron asked.

"Uh, sorry. The Sheik only scheduled fifteen minutes for the meeting."

"He flies over, and only gives us fifteen minutes?" Ron responded, incredulously. "And no lunch?"

"We haven't figured out the working of the Arab mind," the woman from the State Department admitted. "Maybe I can take the two of you out for lunch after the audience, a local buffet or something."

"That isn't nec–" Kim began.

"Boo-yah!" Ron interrupted, "I'm up for that."

The trio were ushered into the office of the ambassador, who thanked them profusely while they awaited the arrival of the Sheik. A muffled gong sounded and the ambassador bowed low as a door opened and a slender man of medium height in an expensive silk suit entered the room, followed by two men the size and build of Shaquille O'Neil whose dark glasses and grim expressions screamed, "Bodyguards." One of the men carried a metal case. Ron guessed the contents of the case were something explosive.

The Sheik launched into a long speech, in Arabic, which none of the three Americans understood. After about ten minutes (and suddenly Ron was glad the ceremony was only scheduled for fifteen minutes) he switched to English, "But words alone can not convey the debt I feel I owe to It's Possible for their recent labors on my behalf. Ms. Possible, I have a gift, a valuable–"

"No gifts are necessary," Kim told him. "You realize your staff paid a bill for our services?"

The slender man smiled, "Neither words nor the simple exchange of money provides a proper response. This gift–"

"Is not necessary," Kim insisted.

"Take it!" the woman from the State Department whispered loudly. "Don't insult him!"

"No further payment is necessary," Kim sighed, "but I am honored by your attention to Team Possible for our efforts, and I accept your generous gift."

He smiled, "Thank you," and nodded slightly to Kim then raised his right arm and snapped his fingers.

The body guard holding the metal case held it out, and his companion opened it. A bronze lamp, with a patina of great age fitted the padded interior. The guard holding the case stepped forward, for Kim and Ron to see the contents.

"An antique lamp," the slender man told them. "Age, uncertain. Value, unknown and incalculable. Some might consider it a treasure, but beauty is always in the eye of the beholder."

(In the eye of Ron it looked like a piece of junk, a garage sale reject. But as long as the bill for services rendered was paid to It's Possible's for their services he wasn't going to object.)

The Sheik took the case from the hands of his bodyguard. Before extending it toward Kim he asked, "Ms. Possible, you accept this gift?"

"Yes."

"Please forgive me, but I observe the ancient custom of my people and must repeat the question. You accept the lamp I now offer?"

"Yes."

"Freely and of your own will, you accept the lamp?"

The repetition puzzled Kim, but Ruby, standing at her side, hissed, "Say yes!"

"I accept the lamp."

The Sheik smiled broadly and handed her the case with a bow. "Words can not repay my debt," he assured her, then turned and with his guards behind him left the ambassador's room.

Ron wasn't positive, but he thought the Arab was humming the old civil rights song, "Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty I'm free at last," as he departed.

The ambassador repeated his thanks, and the Americans were ushered out by an embassy staff member.

At the buffet Kim and Ruby Walker got into a conversation as Ron continued to go back for more plates of food. The two women were discussing something about Indonesia when he was finally full. He had nothing to contribute to the conversation, but they were engrossed so he decided to take a look at the lamp.

It certainly looked old. Maybe it was an antique. Something caught his eye, was that mark a much-worn seal of Solomon? He took a napkin and tried to polish the spot for a clearer view.

A green smoke which smelled of pistachios and honey swirled from the lamp and coalesced into the figure of a shapely woman with pale green skin wearing a diaphanous and terribly revealing (at least in terms of a DC buffet) outfit.

The woman gave Kim a hungry look, "Appears ol' Abdul got it right – won't need any revenge. What do you want, Master? Rub down with scented oil? Candle-lit dinner followed by walk along in the beach? Or just want to hop into bed?"

Kim blushed crimson.

"Hey," Ron protested, "I'm holding the lamp!"

"So, bubbeleh? That and three fifty will get you a knish."

"But–"

"Did you accept the lamp, or was it red here?"

"It was Kim, but–"

"So stop your kvetching and let my pretty Master," the green woman sensuously ran her hand up Kim's arm, "tell me what she wants. Any ideas pop into your head, Master? Want me to give you some suggestions?"

"Go back in the lamp."

"No."

"No? but–"

"I've never been very good at following orders I don't like. It's part of my charm."

"Could you ask her to make me a milk shake?" Ron requested

"Ron! I'm trying–"

"Please, KP?'

"Ron, this has got to be some kind of fake! Genii don't exist. And her English is too good. She–"

"I watch a lot of American television," the green woman explained. "Gets boring as hell in that lamp. Now, how about some nice idea for the two of us?"

"Have her make me a milk shake," Ron repeated.

"Fine," Kim grumbled, "will you make him a milk shake? Please?"

The green woman grinned, "Your wish is my suggestion." She turned to Ron, "Alakazam!" At Ron's spot at the table there was now a milk shake, but no Ron. She turned to Kim, "Don't need the Alakazam, but I think it sounds good."

"Where's Ron?" Kim demanded.

"He's right there," the woman said, pointing at the milk shake.

"But–"

"You asked me to make him a milk shake. Well, duh, he's a milk shake."

"Turn him back! Turn him back!"

The green woman narrowed her eyes and grinned, "What's in it for me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Exactly what it sounded like. I'll bring him back cheap. One kiss is all it takes."

"No kiss. Can't I just order you to do it?"

"You can try. Keep in mind that if you get too bitchy you might piss me off, and then you're like ol' Abdul – looking for some poor sucker to accept the lamp."

"Other options?"

The green woman licked her lips nervously, she didn't want to appear too eager. Doing her best to sound casual she suggested, "You might, oh, let me enter and leave the lamp whenever I want while you're my master."

"That's it, just let you enter and leave the lamp?"

"Yep."

"Okay, you can enter and leave the lamp. Now turn Ron back."

"Not quite so easy. See, you have to say it three times first."

"I'll say it three times after you turn Ron back."

The genie hesitated. "Don't make me angry by backing out," she warned.

"I always keep my word."

The green woman turned to the milk shake, "Alakazam!" Ron was back on the chair, he wrapped his arms around himself and shivered, his teeth chattering. She looked back to Kim. "You need to say three times, I freely allow you to go as you wish."

"You say that's as long as I'm your Master?"

"Them's the rules, Princess. Now hit me wit' dem magic words."

"I freely allow you to come and go as you wish, as long as I'm your Master. I freely allow you to come and go as you wish, as long as I'm your Master. I freely allow you to come and go as you wish, as long as I'm your Master."

"Well then, ciao, I'm back to my pad."

"Wait, what do I call you?"

"You can call me any time," the genie purred. "Or whistle. You know how to whistle, don't you, Princess? You just put your lips together and... blow."

"A name, do you have a name?"

"Oh I have lots of names, some of which you can't use on the family channel. You can call me Shego."

"What kind of name is Shego?" Ron asked through chattering teeth.

"One you can pronounce." And she was gone.

"What do you plan to do?" the Ruby asked.

"I'm not the Master type," Kim told her. "I'm going to lose the case."

"You could give it to me," Ron suggested.

Kim looked at him and raised one eyebrow.

"Okay, bad idea, KP. I wasn't thinking."

As they left the buffet Kim tried to leave the case. "This was at our table," she told the manager, "and–"

"Take it and go," he warned her. "My staff saw that scene. You disrupted everything."

A hotel stood across the street. Kim dashed in and told the clerk at the service desk, "This was outside your hotel." She put it down and slid it toward him. "You should put it in lost and–"

He looked frightened and slid it back, "Take it out! It could be a bomb! I'll call the police."

"You still have the case," Ron pointed out when she came out of the hotel.

"Let's get out of here. I don't want to explain this to the police."

"The police? What–"

"Just get us a taxi, Ron. Time to head to the airport."

Kim stuffed the metal case into a waste bin outside the terminal.

On the flight back to Middleton Ron suggested, "Want to see a movie tonight? I'll let you pick one out. Then we can have a drink afterward and–"

"Ron, we're partners. We've been best friends forever, but you know I want to keep my focus while we get It's Possible established and–"

"And so there's no time for me."

"We see each other every day. We work together."

"And if you're worried about expenses one apartment is cheaper than two."

"And then you give me your next line about one bed being less expensive than two."

"Oh, you've heard that one before?"

"Only about seven hundred times."

"Wait a minute, KP. I've only said that six hundred and fifty-seven times. Who was the guy you heard it from forty-three times?"

"What makes you think it was one guy? Maybe forty-three different guys each used it once. But I told them all you're the top of my list when I decide to get serious." She tapped him on the nose. "I can't imagine any other guy coming between us."

"Not even Josh?"

Kim pretended to think about it for a minute. "No, not after he started dating Bonnie. That put me off Josh, like, forever."

"Okay," he grumbled. "How about movie with your number one guy, no drink and no afterward? Zatari paid great. We need to celebrate."

"You said my choice of movie?"

"My turn next time."

"You got it, partner."

He put an arm around her and she snuggled up against him, put her head on his shoulder and napped for the rest of the flight.

They'd left Ron's car was at the Middleton airport. "Can I take you home?" he asked as they got in.

"No, better stop at the office, see if Wade has any jobs lined up."

"Yeah, and I got to pick up Rufus."

A surprise awaited them in the office. A metal case lay on the coffee table in their waiting area, and Shego sat in one of the chairs, her feet up on the coffee table as she leafed through a _Human_ magazine.

"Wha?" Ron exclaimed.

"Oh, hey, Princess," Shego said, looking up, "I'm going to take that as you didn't want to explain me to the TSA, but don't let it happen again, capiche?"

"What's going on?" Wade called from his office. "She showed up here and... And what she's saying makes no sense."

"I always make sense," Shego insisted. "People are just too stupid to understand me."

Wade stormed out of his office. "My IQ is–"

"Is apparently not high enough. Hey, can I make you a milk shake?"

"What? I–"

"Say no," Kim ordered.

"Trust her," Ron seconded. "This is some sort of all-powerful genie."

"Well, not all-powerful," Shego admitted. "I spent a lot of time at genii school in detention for insubordination. And, uh, when I was in class I spent a lot of time filing my nails so, uh, sometimes the ol' magic works better than others."

"Genii school?" Wade asked.

"Well, I got in trouble. This big shot sorcerer was putting pressure on my family to force me to marry him, and when I told him to fuck off he–"

"You told a sorcerer to, um, off?" Ron asked.

"I'm translating for you. It was even better in the original. I could draw you a picture. Anyway telling him that seemed like a good idea at the time. He condemned me and my brothers; cursed us to–"

"Brothers?" Kim asked.

Shego shrugged, "Yeah, I guess its my fault. My older brother, he's such a suck up, he graduated genii school as valedictorian. I haven't seen the jerk in years. But enough about ancient history. Where's my office?"

Wade looked puzzled, "Your office?"

"Sure, everyone else has their office. I need one too."

"This suite only has three offices, a waiting area, and a snack room," Ron pointed out. "You can't have the snack room."

"Maybe I'll stick you there," Shego growled. "But your office sucks. Master has room in hers, maybe I'll move in with–"

"No," Kim told her firmly.

"You're no fun," Shego grumbled. "At least not yet. Maybe there..." She gestured at a blank wall near Kim's office, "Alakazam!"

There was now a door where the blank wall had been.

"That's impossible," Wade muttered. "There's no space behind that wall."

"Impossible is my middle name," Shego smirked. "Well, one of them anyway."

Wade went over and opened the door. There was a blank wall, no room, on the other side.

Ron laughed.

"Can it, malt-breath," Shego threatened. "I'll get it fixed... eventually. Room in the lamp right now." She leered at Kim, "Hey, Master, want to check out my place?"

"No, and we can't have someone who looks like you on It's Possible. You look like a harem girl, or a belly dancer, or something. That is so totally unprofessional."

The green woman shrugged and gestured down the length of her body with one hand. A tight leather suit, with green and black patches now clothed the woman.

Ron's jaw dropped it might not be as revealing as the initial outfit, but the the tight leather showed off every curve of the genie's figure. "Uh, KP, you know... There're times when magic might come in handy on a mission... I mean, I'm just thinking it would... Uh, you know."

"I know exactly what you're thinking," Kim snapped. "You're thinking a hot looking woman on the team would–"

"There's already a hot looking woman – you," Ron insisted. "But there're missions where magic might come in handy."

"Magic like the door to nowhere?" Kim asked, pointing at the open door with the blank wall behind.

"Let's not get personal," Shego protested

"Wade," Kim barked, "got any solo missions for me?"

"Well, the Upperton Pixie Scouts would love to have you at a muffin sale promotion tonight. It wouldn't pay anything, but–"

"But I'll take it," she told him. "Text me the details. I'm going home to change."

"But KP, we were going to see a movie."

That was before you wanted this witch on our team."

"I'm not a witch! I'm a genie."

"Were you ever a Pixie Scout?"

"No."

"Then you can stay here and work on your room skills."

"I was an honorary Pixie Scout," Ron interjected. "Can I–"

"Honorary doesn't cut it. I'm so out of here," Kim told him and stormed out.

"I'm going to text her the information," Wade announced and went back to his office – closed and locked the door.

"She always that high strung?" Shego asked Ron.

"She really wants this to work so, yeah, she's kind of tense these days."

"Hmmm, well, I know some things that would be _marvelous_ to help her relax."

"Hey, I'm the boyfriend," Ron protested. "That's my job."

"You? Her boyfriend?" Shego snorted. "I don't think so."

"She told me today, no other guy will ever come between us!"

Shego pointed at her chest, "If you haven't noticed, I'm not a guy."

"No way! She... You really like girls?"

"Women. Girls will get you trouble. You like young girls?"

"No!" Ron exclaimed. "Women! I like women."

"Tell you what, be a good boy and help me get with Kim and maybe I'll let you watch."

He almost hesitated but came back quickly with, "No, no way! I'm her boyfriend."

"I'm not against a little competition..." She gave him a critical look, "And frankly, I'm sure you're even a little competition. More like a zero."

"Hey, you don't scare me. The best man will win."

"More like the best woman. Say, sport, I'm new in town. What's there to do in this dump? Somehow watching a Pixie Scout, whatever the hell that means, muffin promotion sounds more dull than television."

"Yeah, maybe just as well she went out by herself. Got a microbrewery with some good stuff. Rufus and I will probably head there for–"

"Rufus?"

"Rufus!" Ron called, "Rise and shine!"

There was a rustling noise from Ron's office and small pink creature emerged into the waiting room, blinking and stretching.

"Rufus is my buddy," Ron explained

"A man is known by his friends," Shego solemnly intoned.

"Yeah, I... Hey, was that a crack?"

Shego shrugged, "It is what it is. So, good beer where you're going?"

"Yeah... Want to come with us?"

"Sure. You're paying."

"Me? Pay for your own."

"They take drachms?"

"No."

"You're paying. Hey, you're getting the pleasure of my company."

"Can't you magic money up or something."

"Counterfeiting. You think Kim wants her partners getting busted on a Federal offense?"

"Fine, I'll pay," Ron grumbled, "but don't give me that pleasure of your company stuff."

Shego grinned and slapped him on the shoulder, "Ah, you are a miracle. A man who knows his place. Maybe I will let you watch when I'm with Kim."

"No way!" Ron protested as he scooped up Rufus and put him in a pocket. "I'm her guy." Then he and Shego headed out the door.

–The Beginning?–


	2. Where There's a Will There's a Won't

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

A lot of reviewers wrote that they wanted to see more story... Not sure this counts as story, it's more like setting the stage in case I decide to add more. Still no real action. Thomas Linquist gave me an idea used in this addition.

**Where There's a Will There's a Won't  
**

Ron woke up and realized he felt fine. Which seemed very odd. He assumed he was sick. He did not have a headache so he had not been drunk. No recent missions would have left him drugged, hypnotized, mind controlled, or sucked into a 1960s situation comedy. He paused his thought process. If he had been mind controlled, would he remember it? Monkey Fist might have... No, last he knew Monkey Fist was in prison. But if he had used magic would Ron remember?

The green genie had seemed terribly real, but such a thing was, of course, impossible – and given some of the things he and Kim had encountered for him to label anything as impossible meant it truly had to be absurd.

A dream! It had all been a dream. Why hadn't he realized that sooner? The way she had disappeared after they'd had a couple beers, was the stuff of which dreams are made.

Feeling much better he got out of bed and made an omelet filled with spinach, feta, a bit of black olives and purple onion and a whisper of oregano. For Rufus, diced mango and gouda. Kim was probably having a bowl of cereal or a pop tart. He'd tell her about his breakfast when he saw her, and tempt her with the promise of a wonderful breakfast if she'd spend the night at his place. How many wonderful breakfasts until she made it a habit of spending the night? He was eager to find out.

Thoughts of Kim spending the night had Ron smiling as he drove to the office. He was still smiling as he parked in his spot and entered the building.

The smile left him when he saw Mr. Stephens, the building manager, standing in the lobby with a frown on his face and staring impatiently at the front door. Someone was in trouble. Ron thought fast. They were current on rent. No explosions in the last four weeks. Mr. Stephens had to be waiting for someone else. Ron regained his smile and headed for the elevators.

"Hold it right there, Mr. Stoppable."

Ron froze. "Yes?"

"The custodial staff inform me there is someone living in your suite. This building is zoned commercial. Your lease does not–"

"Hey, you know Wade works late! No one lives in the suite."

"They report a woman. Mr. Load would never be mistaken for a woman."

"Look, I don't know what they claimed they saw. I don't know if Kim came in or what, but I–"

"It was not Ms. Possible."

"Great," Ron groaned. "We get broken into and you're complaining like it's our fault?"

"Well, let's examine your office, shall we, to see where the evidence points," Mr. Stephens suggested in a chilly tone, clearly not believing Ron.

They rode to the third floor in silence. Ron opened the door to their suite and groaned. The metal case which had held the lamp was on the coffee table in the waiting area.

"And what is that!" Mr. Stephens asked in an angry tone, pointing to a door on a wall which should have no door.

"Don't know," Ron replied. "I'm home dreaming."

"What?"

Ron ignored the building manager as he picked up the case. It certainly felt real.

"Stop that!" a woman's voice yelled from behind the door which had not been there the day before."

"And who is that?" Mr. Stephens snorted.

_"Maybe I am sick?"_ Ron thought. _"This sure makes no sense. Wouldn't the genie be in her lamp?"_ He shook the case slightly.

"DAMN IT! I SAID STOP THAT!" Shego screamed.

"I want to know who–" Mr Stephens began when the new door flew open.

An angry, dripping wet woman, with a towel wrapped around her stood in the doorway, glaring out. "Don't move my lamp while I'm in here! What are you trying to do? God damn it, show some respect for the lamp! I–" She noticed Mr. Stephens. "Who in the hell are you?"

Startled, Ron dropped the case back onto the table. Shego almost lost her towel as the room in which she was standing shook like it was hit with an earthquake - although nothing disturbed the room in which the two men stood.

"Damn it!" she swore.

"See here, young woman I–"

"I asked who the hell you are?"

"Darrin Stephens, I'm the building manager. I don't know what you've done but–"

Shego slammed the door.

"Who is that?" the building manager demanded.

Ron put up his hands in a 'How would I know?' gesture.

Mr. Stephens strode over and reached for the doorknob. "I wouldn't do that," Ron advised.

Ron's warning didn't stop the manager who threw the door open... And found a blank wall on the other side. He cautiously reached out his hand and touched the wall. It appeared solid. He rapped it with his knuckles. It was solid. "Who was that?" he demanded again.

"Hey, our office is on this side of the wall," Ron pointed out. "If you saw someone on the other side... Not our office over there. Ask the undertakers."

"Why would the Funeral Director's Professional Association have a young woman wearing a towel in their office?"

Ron pondered the image of Kim wearing nothing but a towel, then shrugged, "Well, I can think of... Never mind. I worry about our side of the wall. If you want to know what's happening on their side you'd better ask them."

"I will!" and the building manager stomped out.

Ron decided he was better off not touching the case with the lamp and went to the break room to start a pot of coffee. Rufus watched the proceedings for a few minutes then wandered off to his tiny hammock in Ron's office to sleep off breakfast.

The carafe was almost full when Shego appeared, wearing her green-and-black outfit with her damp hair wrapped in a towel. "So, when does Princess get in?"

Ron groaned, "You're real."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"Well, you haven't answered mine."

"You didn't ask a question."

"Sure I did. Of all the gin joints of all the towns in the world, why did you walk into mine?"

"So, you're admitting defeat, Humphrey?"

"Huh?"

"Ingrid Bergman goes off with the other guy, remember? So Kim's going to get on the plane with me and fly off to... Where was that?"

"You spent too much time in the lamp watching movies."

"Hey, there're things I would much rather be doing. And, speaking of which, you still haven't told me when Princess gets here."

Ron glanced at the clock, "She's usually here by now. Of course she was out with the Pixie Scouts last night. Get some apple juice and sugar in those girls and they can party all night. Can't say. Probably soon."

"Ah well, patience is a virtue. Not that I have any."

"Patience or virtue?"

"Neither. Give me a cup of that swill and explain the angry man."

"Hey, I make a darn good cup of coffee."

"I make better."

"You're welcome to try."

"Okay, where do I put the sand?"

"Sand?"

"Well, if I put the coals directly on the floor it might start a fire."

"What are you–"

"Ibriks, sugar, a little cardamom, and powdered coffee – as coffee was meant to be prepared."

"Sounds good, but I think the fire on the floor would really tick off Mr. Stephens."

"Ah yes, that was his name. He appeared upset. What was the problem?"

"Well, this is rented as office space. We aren't supposed to have anyone living in these rooms."

"I'm not. I was in the lamp."

"But the lamp was on... At least the case was on the table."

"But the rooms in the lamp were behind the door, so when you move the lamp you shake up my home."

"Wait, the lamp was on the table... But the rooms... Rooms? How many rooms? The rooms are in the lamp but not in the lamp?"

"Right. I forget how many rooms I have... I only use eight or nine–"

"Eight or nine?"

"Yeah. Any way–"

"Why didn't you take the lamp inside with you?"

"Well, duh, you can't take the lamp into the rooms that are inside it. That's just stupid."

Ron sighed. "So, shaking the lamp shakes you up?"

"Don't get any ideas. When the rooms inside the lamp are inside the lamp it's stable. But when the rooms inside the lamp are outside the lamp you need to be fucking careful with it or you'll break something."

Ron grinned, "I'll remember that."

"Thanks, I– Hey, watch it." She took a sip of coffee. "Actually, this isn't bad."

"Thanks."

"So, Stephens is like police or something?"

"He can get us thrown out of the building."

She looked around, "That'd be an improvement."

They heard the outer door open, and Kim's voice called, "Ron? I had the strangest..." She saw the case on the table, "It was real?"

"Yeah. She's in the break room with me."

"Great," Kim muttered and joined them.

As Kim took her mug from the drainer and filled it with coffee Shego complained, "You people are not making me feel welcome."

"Have you asked yourself why?" Ron suggested.

"Want me to get rid of him for you?" Shego asked Kim.

"No, he's my best friend," Kim told her.

"I've got a standing marriage proposal out to her," Ron added.

"Then can I get rid of him for me?" Shego asked.

Kim ignored the comment. "Did Wade leave anything for us?" she asked Ron.

"Haven't checked my desk yet. Mr. Stephens had a complaint about someone living in our office."

Kim looked puzzled, then glanced at Shego. Ron nodded yes. "Great."

"Hey, if it's a problem," Shego told her, "I could move in with you."

"We should check our desks," Kim told Ron.

Shego smacked her fist into the palm of her other hand, "Sounds great, partners," she said with real enthusiasm. "A lot more exciting than sitting around waiting for that last guy to find a sucker who'd take the lamp."

"You are not coming with us on any missions," Kim told her bluntly.

"C'mon, I'll be great."

"No."

Shego looked at Ron, "She always this negative?"

"She's been turning down proposals for more than a year," Ron told her.

"Well, the reason for that is obvious," Shego snorted.

"There's no rush," Kim insisted. "It would complicate things. But you," she pointed at Shego, "aren't going on missions. Ron and I are a very good team, years of experience. I know I can trust him. You're an unknown factor."

"I can do all kinds of great shit! I'd be huge asset. The three musketeers. How can I learn to function on the team if I can't go out with you?"

"You're not going out with us."

"Give me one good reason why not!"

"Liability insurance."

"Say what."

"Liability insurance. Ron, Wade, Rufus, and I are on the policy, you're not. It's mostly for Ron and me."

"But–"

"And right now there's no time to argue. We need to see if anything's on the calendar."

Ron figured there was time to argue. Wade would have called if there were an emergency, so anything on the calendar could probably wait for a minute. But Ron didn't like to argue and was perfectly happy to let Kim have the last word.

Shego followed Kim to her office and watched the redhead check her desk. "Oh, a briefing from Global Justice. Ron and I will need to be at the airport in an hour." (Kim had known about the meeting for two weeks, and, like Ron, knew Wade would have called if there had been an emergency requiring their attention.)

"Global Justice... That's a UN thing... You and Ron belong to Global Justice?"

"Ron and I don't _belong_ to anyone but ourselves. But there are a number of places that sometimes ask for our assistance. They use different terms, but it's kind of like we're associate members."

"Well, if it's not a mission I'm not going to break anything. Can I at least come to the briefing? It's got to be better than watching TCM."

"It's not a mission, but you don't have security clearance."

"Why do you have to travel to a conference? Isn't there some kind of video chat or something?"

"Not enough encryption. Why have a briefing on Drakken or Dementor if they can listen in?"

"Drakken? Dementor?"

"Oh, they're the two baddies in today's briefing... Unless they've added someone else." Kim looked toward her open door and called, "Ron! Any updates from GJ?"

"Nope."

"Okay, get some of the filing done before… Hey, I think we just got an new office intern slash receptionist."

"We can't afford to hire a new staff person, and not enough work."

"Oh, I don't know if we have to pay her," Kim called, looking at Shego.

"No fucking way!" the green woman protested.

"I've never been a master before," Kim told her. "Does a genie usually receive a salary? What are the rules?"

"I don't know. I was in detention when they covered that. No one's ever offered me money… at least not for being a genie. I think it's part of the curse. You're going to find I do a really lousy job filing if you try and stick me with that. You just might never find a file again."

"You want to go on missions?"

"Yes!"

"Then you do a good job here and wait until we know a little more about what you can do."

In the other office Ron's phone rang, but the two women kept talking.

"So, how long is my sentence as office slave? You're making a big mistake, Princess, I can be all kinds of help."

"I'm not making a mistake. You're an unknown. Ron and I trust each other with our lives. We don't know if we can count on you."

"Hey, you can trust your body… life! I meant you can trust your life with me."

"Maybe someday. Not today. Not next mission. First we —"

Ron appeared at the door, "Emergency, Kim, hostage call for me. Chopper on way." He held up two pairs of boxer shorts, one with 'Hello Kitty' images and one with pink and red hearts. "Go with a new design or stick with my usual smiley face?"

"No 'Hello Kitty'. Ever. It'd get you shot. Stick with the smiley face. Do you need me? Should I cancel GJ?"

"Nah, police will have my back. Take notes for me."

He ducked back into his own office.

"Hostage call for Doofus?" Shego asked.

Kim shrugged. "Different kinds of hostage situations. Organized gang taking hostages we leave for SWAT teams or police. One or two frightened crooks hear police sirens and take someone at the store or bank hostage, I get called. Some guy with a history of mental instability takes a family member or neighbor hostage and Ron is great."

"What's with the boxers?"

"Ron goes up to the door wearing nothing but boxers, to show he doesn't have a weapon and carrying a box of donuts. Have you ever heard of a guy wearing just boxer shorts and carrying a box of donuts being shot?"

"No."

"See, they figure he's perfectly safe."

"They figure he's another nut case."

"Not nut cases. Mental health issues doesn't mean crazy."

"Does in my scroll."

"Well, get over that. It's insulting."

"And Ron is good at that?"

"Very good. He can usually talk the person into giving up their weapon and surrendering."

"Usually?"

"Twice he had to disarm the person. Once he just had to get out. Woman had a phobia about men and… Well, nothing but a pair of boxer shorts was a bad idea in that case. Every case is different."

"And potentially dangerous?"

"Maybe. He doesn't know until he gets there. Rufus goes in first with a little camera around his neck, but Ron has to think on his feet."

"So… If it's so dangerous, shouldn't Ron deserve backup? I know an older woman, in perfect shape, who'd do a wonderful job."

"No."

"He gets hurt and you'll blame yourself for not being there or sending backup."

Kim hesitated, and chewed her lower lip nervously. She wanted Ron to have backup. It wasn't a trust issue. Ron had proven himself many times, but every case was different. Who knows what he might face? On the other hand, would it be safer or more dangerous for Ron to have Shego there? Ron's strength was his ability to appear non-threatening and to put a frightened, delusional person at ease. Shego would be nothing but trouble for Ron. "No. No liability insurance. No credentials. You seem like a loose cannon, I don't know if you could take directions from Ron."

"Sure I could. Try me!"

"How about we see if you can take directions from me first? You stay here. You help Wade. You get the paperwork filed, and then Ron and I will start figuring out how you can be used most effectively."

They heard the sound of a helicopter and Ron called, "Ride's here," as he dashed out of the office.

Kim went to her window and looked out as the chopper landed and Ron ran over to it and climbed in.

"Ah, we're alone at last," Shego purred. "Want to find out how I can _really_ be used most effectively." She teased down the zipper on her leather outfit about eight inches.

Kim turned and looked back at the window at the departing chopper, "Only if it involves filing paperwork."

"Hey, you could hurt my feelings," Shego pouted as she pulled the zipper back up. "You're really worried about your partner. Bad timing on my part. I should wait until he's back safe before I offer to jump your bones."

Kim almost smiled, "Yeah. Bad timing."

"So, Princess… When he's back, I've got a chance?"

"Depends on what you mean by chance… And if you mean what I think you mean—"

"And I suspect you do."

"I suspect the answer is 'no'."

"You got any skills at fortune telling?"

"No."

"Well, I'll take my chances. I can be utterly charming."

Wade arrived at the office before Kim left, and Kim informed Wade that Shego would be helping him organize files and screen phone calls to help evaluate priorities.

"Where's my desk and phone?" Shego sighed.

"I think you'll have to be on one side of the waiting room."

"That dinky space?"

"It's only temporary, remember? At least if you do a good job."

"Oh, it'll be real temporary," Shego promised.

"Okay," Kim told her, "Wade will—"

Wade interrupted, "Wade will tell you that you need to get to the airport," he warned Kim.

Kim glanced at her watch. "Right." She looked at Shego, "Listen to Wade."

"I'd listen better to you."

"I'm out of here. Wade's in charge."

The police brought Ron back to Middleton in the early afternoon. As he entered the office he called, "Wade! Still got half a dozen donuts. It went…" He stopped. He stared. A massive, ornate walnut desk in French Provincial style took up a large portion of the waiting area. He wasn't staring at the desk. Shego sat at the desk, filing her nails. The jacket she wore looked like business attire. The blouse might have been business attire, if the top four buttons had not been undone. The mini skirt was too short for business attire. Had her legs been under the desk Ron might not have known. But they were up on the desk, crossed at the ankles.

"Tongue back in your mouth," she advised. "And sign the report on your mission so we can send out a bill." She nodded to paper he hadn't noticed on the desk (for obvious reasons), "Two copies. One for our files, one for the billing department."

"But I haven't done my report."

"I did it for you. Sign."

Ron's signature was slightly shaky as he signed the paper. It was hard to concentrate with Shego's legs six inches from the report.

As he signed the copy Shego pulled a file folder from a drawer and stood up. She put one copy into a file tray marked, "To Do" and put the second copy into the folder. "Can I file something?" Shego called.

"YES!" Wade answered, far too fast and eagerly.

Ron followed Shego over to the door to Wade's office and looked in. Wade had the largest office, but a row of file cabinets took much of the space. Shego pulled open a bottom drawer and leaned over to file the folder. Ron felt his blood pressure shoot up. He was glad eighteen year old Wade had a healthy heart or the sight might have given him a heart attack.

"Thanks," Shego told Wade with a throaty whisper.

"No problem, anything I can do for you? Anything?"

"Uh, Shego," Ron interrupted, "about your outfit… I—"

"Wade okayed it," Shego assured him. She turned to the computer whiz, "Didn't you?"

Wade, staring at her chest, said nothing.

It was obvious to Ron that Shego figured this would force Kim to allow her to go on missions. He'd let Kim try and figure it out, she was the owner of the lamp.

"Donuts, anyone?"

"Sure," Wade answered.

"You?" he asked Shego.

"Sounds good – you need to make another pot of coffee."

"Fine." Ron sighed and headed for the break room.

While he was there Mr. Stephens was alerted to Ron's return and headed for the offices of Team Possible. He pushed open the outer door, "Mr. Stoppable, I want…" He stopped. He stared. "You! You were the woman in the shower!"

"What are you talking about?" Shego responded calmly.

"You know what I'm talking about! Behind that door!" He pointed at the new door, "This morning!"

Shego looked at him blankly. "I believe you need to talk with Mr. Stoppable. He's in the break room." She pointed in the proper direction and Mr. Stephens automatically glanced in the desired direction.

When he looked back the door which had been on the once blank wall was gone, and the wall was blank again.

"What door?" Shego asked.

The building manager stared at the wall. He moved over and felt it with his hands. He knocked on the wall. It was solid.

"Perhaps you've been working too hard," Shego suggested cheerfully.

"But… But… There was a door here."

"Oh, have you spoken with the people in the office next door?"

"Yes. I… The door was here."

"What door?"

He stood there, not sure what was happening. Ron stepped out from the break area. "Mr. Stephens, can I help you?"

"He was just leaving," Shego said. "He feels a little confused."

"There was a door there," Mr. Stephens insisted angrily. "And you were in the shower or something. You were wearing a towel."

"Guys undress me with their eyes all the time," Shego commented to Ron. "At least he left me a towel."

"You," the building manager barked at Ron. "You were there! You saw her!"

Ron adopted a puzzled look, "Where?"

"Right there!"

"Uh, there's no door there."

"I'm leaving, but I'll get to the bottom of this!" the manager threatened and stormed from the office.

"Coffee will be done in a minute," Ron called to Wade.

"What did Mr. Stephens want?"

"He wanted to see me naked," Shego answered.

"That wasn't what he wanted," Ron told Wade, "He—"

"He doesn't want to see me naked?" Shego asked. "Oh, he's like that?"

"This from the woman who's trying to get Kim in bed?"

"Entirely different," Shego assured him.

"I'll get the coffee."

Rufus sat on Shego's desk and ate his donut. Shego remained seated on her desk chair. Ron had correctly assumed that the Baccarat crystal cup with the jewel-encrusted gold handle was hers. He and Wade stood beside the desk and Ron narrated details of his mission. The two men had their usual coffee mugs. Ron wasn't positive but it appeared Wade had chosen his location based on the angle it offered for peering down Shego's blouse.

Ron tried to think of a good suggestion to help Kim with the Shego problem. The only idea he could come up involved calling Bonnie Rockwaller and asking her if she wanted an antique lamp.


	3. I'm Mr Blue

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

GabrielBlade put ideas into my head that mutated into scenes in this chapter.

** I'm Mr. Blue** (1959 song by The Fleetwoods)**  
**

Kim arrived early at the office the next morning to read the riot act to Shego in regard to office attire. "What would anyone think who came in here and saw you dressed like that?"

"That this is a fun place to work?"

"No. That is not what they would think."

"Tell me, Princess–"

"Please don't call me that."

"Okay, Sugar-lips, now–"

"You may call me Princess," Kim sighed.

"Fine. Now, Pumpkin, tell me–"

"Do you practice being annoying?"

"No. It's this natural talent. The point is, does anyone come in here besides us?"

"Yes."

"Oh, and that Stephens character."

"Yes."

"How often, be honest?"

Kim chewed her lip nervously. "Okay, clients usually call or use the web, but they sometimes come in. Our parents sometimes stop by to see how things are going and–"

"Is your mom as hot as you are?"

"What!"

"Just asking."

"You leave my mother alone! Look, I asked Wade what he did yesterday and he said nothing. Zip! And you know why?"

"'Cause he's lazy?"

"No," Kim drawled in a sarcastic tone, "he's an eighteen year old guy, blind-sided by three distractions."

Shego smirked, "Well, one is my ass – are you counting each boob separately?"

"I was counting cleavage, rear, and legs," Kim told the genie in an angry voice. "Stop distracting Wade!"

"I didn't want to distract Wade," Shego pouted. "I wanted to distract you." She rubbed a hand over Kim's hip, "but you weren't around much."

Kim slapped Shego's hand away, marched into her office and slammed the door, and turned to find Shego now sitting in Kim's office chair with her legs up on the desk, "Oh, good," Shego purred, "door closed for privacy."

"GET OUT!" Kim screamed.

Shego sighed, but got up to leave, "If I walk out the door you'll regret it, Princess. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life."

Kim simply opened the door and pointed out at Shego's desk and the genie left.

Ron had a pot of coffee for the nine-thirty staff meeting, and Wade had a loaf of whole grain zucchini bread as they gathered around the coffee table in the waiting area.

"What's in this, sawdust?" Shego complained when she sampled the bread.

"No sugar," Kim explained.

"I used to be fat," Wade explained. "I'm trying to eat healthier now."

"And I believe you said you got essentially nothing done yesterday?" Kim commented to start the meeting.

Wade nodded glumly.

"Hey, give the guy a break," Shego protested. "He had to show your new partner the ropes. He was wonderful, outstanding, a credit to his weight."

Wade shot her a grateful look for the first part of her speech, "And Shego files like magic. We're on top of basic filing and I'll be able to get billing done in no time today."

"I'm magic in oh so many ways," Shego winked at Kim. "I can show you–"

Kim cleared her throat with a cough, "Ron, how was your hostage situation?"

Ron gave his report, then asked Kim about the Global Justice briefing.

"They'd like us to stop Drakken again. Today if possible." She looked over at Wade, "You'll need to arrange a ride for Ron and me to Walla Walla as soon as the meeting's done."

"Walla Walla?"

"Drakken's latest lair."

"This would be a lot faster if we had our own plane."

"We can't afford a plane."

"Time out," Shego called. "Why is Global Justice asking a couple freelancers to stop this guy? Is he too lame to bother with, or you better than I think?"

"Experience," Wade told her. "Kim and Ron have more experience stopping him than anyone."

"And he's kind of lame," Kim admitted. "Not worth their manpower. Cheaper to hire us."

"Don't sell yourself short, KP," Ron protested. He turned to Shego, "Drakken's a real threat. But Kim is super at knocking out the Bebes, while Rufus here finds the self-destruct switch and I punch it... Unless Drakken realizes he's losing and punches it first."

"Bebes? Self-destruct switches? Hey your new partner needs to be brought up to speed."

"You're not our new partner," Kim told her.

"Well, you can't call me your old partner, it's insulting. So, tell me more about this Drakken guy."

"Probably Kim's most implacable foe," Wade began.

"Implacable... Does that have something to do with gum disease?" Ron asked.

"No, Ron," Kim sighed.

"Evil genius of the first order, but he has a few quirks that usually bring about his defeat," Wade continued. "He's got these female robot henchmen who–"

"Shouldn't that be henchwomen?" Shego asked.

"I think the phrase henchman applies to either a man or a woman," Kim explained.

"But you also said robot," Shego argued. "And robots aren't human, they're its, not thems."

"They look like women," Ron argued, "act like it too."

"What was that remark?" Kim demanded.

"Well, that one time, they were all concerned about their looks and–"

"I'll hold him down," Shego offered Kim, "if you want to punch him."

"That's okay," Kim sighed, "Drakken did screw up their programming that way once. He hasn't gotten them right yet. Usually they're too dumb to be a real threat – taking everything too literally. A couple times he's set them too bright, and actually had to call us himself and ask for help. Oh, has anyone mentioned yet that Drakken and the Bebes are blue?"

"As in depressed all the time?"

"As in skin color. For the Bebes it's Drakken's choice. We don't know why he's a blue color."

"He also tries to save money by buying discount parts," Ron explained. "And some of the time his stuff just doesn't work. And he always builds in a self-destruct button."

"That part makes no sense to me," Shego argued.

"And taking over the world with blue girl robots does?" Wade asked. "He's a genius, and he doesn't want anyone else getting their hands on his ideas. If he can't use his invention then no one can."

"If he's such a threat, why don't they just lock him up in prison or put him in the looney bin?" Shego demanded.

"Psychiatric hospital, not looney bin," Kim corrected her. "Looney bin is insulting."

"Hey, if the flue shits," Shego countered.

"His genius extends to escapes," Kim continued. "Give him a paperclip and he can open any lock."

Shego raised her hand in the air and waved it, like a second grader excited to have the answer to twelve minus seven.

"Yes?" Kim asked.

"Oh, oh! I have a badical idea!"

"Yes?"

"Don't give him a paperclip."

"It doesn't have to be a paperclip," Ron explained. "A piece of wire or–"

"She gets it, Ron," Kim told him.

"But she said–"

"She's just causing trouble. It's her natural state."

"If you can call being a genie a natural state," Wade threw in.

"Sometimes he works with his cousin, this big guy called Motor Ed," Ron added. He turned to Kim, "Any evidence he's with Ed this time?"

"No, but is there any chance I could actually tell you why Global Justice is interested in stopping him now?"

"Some super evil new scheme?" Ron asked.

"Not that they know of. They think they've developed some restraints that will actually hold him."

"Sounds great," Wade told her. "Can I see them? Did they let you bring them with you."

"Well... No," Kim admitted. "Intellectual property, or patent pending, or some other reason I found a little insulting. We warn Global Justice before we leave and Will Du will fly out with it, so we can turn Drakken over to Global Justice."

"Sounds like they've got a lot of faith in you," Shego told Kim.

"She never fails," Ron told her.

"Hey, she's failing my offer for the best sex she's had in her life," Shego argued.

"Will Du?" Ron asked in disbelief, "don't they realize–"

"They seem to think it's better to use someone who'll follow directions blindly rather than using his brain. That's why we're not Global Justice agents," Kim snapped. "And that concludes our meeting."

"No it doesn't," Shego protested. "Am I on the liability policy yet? Am I going with you to stop the blue dude?"

"No," Kim told her. "Meeting adjourned."

"Not so fast," Shego continued. "Motor Ed? Who's this cousin who makes Drakken more dangerous?"

"Meeting is over," Kim reminded her, then realized that giving Shego more information about their work was important. She looked at Wade and Ron, "Do either of you two want to give her some background on Ed?"

"Me! I'll do it!" Wade shouted as Ron called, "Sure!"

Kim looked at the two with disgust, "You can have them both," she told Shego.

"You're the one I want," Shego purred.

"You can't always want what you get," Kim told her.

"I think the line is, 'you can't always get what you want'," Shego corrected her.

"In this case they're both true," Kim pointed out, went into her office, and closed the door.

"Motor Ed is this huge dude," Ron began.

"Bigger than Wade here," Shego asked, pointing at the six foot two African-American.

"Oh yeah," Ron insisted, "and his arms are as big around as your waist - biceps like volley balls."

"So, tough fighter?"

"Not really," Wade explained. "He's strong, but is used to winning fights just on strength. He goes up against someone with skill like Kim – or even Ron–"

"Hey!"

"–and he loses."

"So, what's his thing? Why's he a problem?"

"He's usually not a problem for us," Wade answered. "The police can handle him."

"His thing is speed," Ron continued. "Boats, cars, planes, motorcycles... If it moves he'll steal it, and he wants the best. Modifies things to make them even faster. He can fix up anything and make it run better and faster."

"I'm still not clear on how he makes Drakken more dangerous," Shego confessed. "He soups up Drakken's doohickeys? Drives the getaway car? Hey, is he blue too?"

"Nah, regular skin color," Ron assured her.

"Biggest problem is he tells Drakken not to be so cheap – buy or steal better parts," Wade answered. "Half of Drakken's plans fail 'cause of defective parts. Sometimes Ed will modify one of Drakken's ideas, but mostly he just talks him into using better materials."

Kim opened her office door and barked, "Wade! Walla Walla! Give me the time and I'll call Global Justice."

Ron and Kim left the office a half hour later.

"What am I supposed to do while you're gone?" Shego complained. "I did all your damn filing yesterday."

"I don't care," Kim told her. "Relax. Go to the beach, just stay away from our mission."

In the mid-afternoon Shego hovered cross-legged in the air about nine inches over her desk. Her hands rested, palms upward, on her knees. Her eyes were closed and there was an unusual air of serenity about her, which should not have mislead any viewer to imagine her thoughts were actually peaceful or calm.

Which was the sight which greeted the building manager when he walked in. "WHAT THE!"

Her concentration broken Shego crashed onto the top of her desk. "Oww!"

"You were flying!"

"I was levitating."

"It's the same thing."

"No it's not," Shego snarled, climbing off her desk. "If I throw you out that window you'll be flying. If you stop and just stay still in mid-air you're levitating. Let me throw you out to show you the difference."

Mr. Stephens backed quickly out of the office.

A short while later Kim called into the office. "What's she doing online?" the redhead demanded when an image of Shego appeared in a box on the right side of the screen.

"I, uh, gave her a kimmunicator," Wade explained. "She is on staff."

"She's an intern!"

"I'm working my butt off," Shego complained. "It's nice to have someone smart enough to appreciate that. You don't pay Wade enough."

"I did not call to talk about you," Kim muttered. "I stopped the Bebes. No problem. Ron and Rufus stopped Drakken. No problem. Ron and I captured Drakken. No problem. Will Du arrives, and of course the problems start."

"It's not my fault!" a voice Shego could not identify protested from off-screen.

"Well it's not our fault," Ron insisted. "We captured him. You were supposed to bring the restraints."

"Look, I didn't pack or ship it! The crate was too big for the jet they gave me!"

"Well, someone at Global Justice doesn't know the difference between Walla Walla and Walhalla, South Carolina," Kim told Wade and Shego. "And the crate we need is currently sitting in a UPS facility in Greenville."

"FedEx! And it's not my fault!" the unseen speaker protested again.

"Well what are we supposed to do?" Ron asked. "We were supposed to capture him. We did. You want custody?"

"No... I... Hey, you keep him. I'm having the crate sent from Greenville to Middleton. There's a connecting flight at St. Louis. I'll head east, verify contents, and accompany the restraints to Middleton."

"Uh, we're not in Middleton," Ron pointed out, "we're in Walla Walla."

"Take him to Middleton," Will suggested.

"Why don't you turn him in to the Walla Walla police?" Shego asked.

"Because he'd escape before we could get back to Middleton. But the airline won't let us bring a prisoner wrapped in duct tape on a flight."

"Take the Global Justice jet," Will offered. "I can get a commercial flight to St. Louis."

"Duct tape?" Wade asked.

"Ever tried picking the lock on duct tape?" Ron answered.

Drakken seemed unusually gloomy during the flight on the small, private jet. He alternated between complaining about the quality of the pretzels on board and trying to pump Kim and Ron for information on whatever Global Justice had developed to hold him.

When Kim insisted Global Justice hadn't told her details of the restraints he didn't believe her, but pretended he did and mocked her by saying it showed they didn't trust her. He hoped to make her angry enough to reveal what she knew.

The mocking only served to irritate Kim, but Ron kept her as close to calm as was humanly possible.

They heaved Drakken into the back seat of Ron's car and drove to the office. Shego and Wade came down to carry him into the elevator.

"Who is this vision of enchantment?" Drakken demanded.

Wade looked at Shego, "I hope he means you."

"It's this curse, every guy who sees me lusts after me." She looked over at Kim, "Do you have any idea how it feels for every guy to think you're the sexiest woman who... No, I guess you wouldn't."

Ron leaped to Kim's defense, "I think Kim's sexy!"

"I do too," Shego told him, "but–"

"I don't," Drakken complained. "She's an infernal busybody!"

From the elevator they wrestled him into their suite and dumped him on the couch in the waiting area.

"Okay, who watches him?" Kim asked.

"May I nominate this beauteous creature?" Drakken suggested, staring at Shego.

"No way in hell," Shego told him.

"She's our new intern," Kim told him, "and interns don't watch prisoners."

Shego's concern for recognition out-weighed common sense. "I'm not an intern. I'm a partner."

"Intern!"'

"Partner!"

"Uh, KP?" Ron asked. "Does it really matter what Shego is, I think–"

"Shego, an unusual and exotic name to go with an unusual and exotic beauty."

"The point is," Ron continued, "she could do it. I mean, he's just going to lie there until Global Justice gets here. Really, Rufus could do it."

Rufus stuck his head out of Ron's pocket and shook it, "Nuh-huh!" and went back into the pocket.

Kim looked at Shego, "You want more responsibility? Fine, watch Drakken."

"Does it bring me closer to you recognizing me as a partner?"

"I... It doesn't move you further away."

"C'mon, Princess, you can say it."

"Just watch Drakken."

The blue man coughed gently to gain their attention. "I hate to mention it, but I do feel the need to visit the little villain's room."

"You're just saying that hoping for a chance to escape," Kim responded.

"I, uh, did let him have three Cokes on the ride back," Ron mentioned.

"Ron! How could you?"

"They were free."

"Little villain's room," Drakken reminded them.

"I think he's just trying to escape," Kim insisted.

"Can you take the chance?" the blue man asked.

"No," Wade said.

"Keep his hands taped together," Kim demanded.

"Uh, KP, that's gonna make it kind of hard to... Well, do anything."

"Perhaps the lovely Ms Shego would–"

"No," the genie told him. "No way, no how."

"Ron, it really needs to be you or Wade who... takes care of things," Kim pointed out.

Wade looked at Ron.

Ron looked at Wade.

Nothing was said.

"I and your couch would appreciate it if you could decide soon," Drakken told them.

Wade fished a coin from his pocket, "Heads or tails?"

"Heads," Ron called. "Hey does that mean if heads come up I have to take him or you have to take him?"

"Heads will mean you get your choice. But if you want to take him to the bathroom you can."

"No thanks. I call heads."

It was heads.

"This isn't part of my job description," Wade grumbled as he helped Drakken off the couch.

"It isn't anyone's job description," Kim agreed. "Global Justice screwed up."

Shego suggested, "I say we bill them extra for incidental services."

"Whatever it is, it won't be enough," Wade muttered as he took Drakken to the men's room.

Kim and Ron went to their offices, and Shego returned to her desk.

Ten minutes later Wade and Drakken returned to the suite and Wade left Drakken draped over Shego's desk.

"Hey!"

"Your turn. I went above and beyond the call of duty."

Drakken wiggled slightly to find a more comfortable position and gazed up at Shego. "I'm thinking a cozy little candle-lit Italian restaurant for our first date. Or do you prefer French?"

"Not going to happen."

"I like a woman who's hard to get. It makes the chase so much more fun."

"Stop stealing my lines. I'm impossible for you to get."

"Oh, this will be fun."

"No it won't."

"Yes it will."

"Look, I'm a lesbian."

"Well, Nobody's perfect."

Shego sighed, and rolled Drakken over to the edge of the desk. The blue man, ever the opportunist, noticed a paperclip under his face as he was rolled over and stuck out his tongue. He had good luck and hid the clip between cheek and gum. Shego, stronger than a normal person, easily put him across her shoulder and went into Ron's office and deposited Drakken on his desk. "Your turn, he's annoying."

"He annoys everyone."

"He's hitting on me."

"You hit on Kim, and you annoy everyone."

"She doesn't annoy me," Drakken assured them.

"That's my point," Shego told Ron, "That's my job description. He's a scab, trying to take the bread out of the mouth of an honest genie."

"Genie?"

"Yeah, she's a genie," Ron told him. "Lamp and everything."

"Ooh! I've never made it with a genie."

"Dude, your luck with women in college was so bad you invented robot women just so you could get dates!"

"I'm missing your point."

"While the two of you discuss that," Shego told them, "I am so out of here."

Fifteen minutes later there was a knock on Kim's door. "What?" she asked.

"Need a favor, KP," Ron called.

Kim opened the door, and Drakken toppled over into her office, knocking Kim to the floor.

"Ron!"

"Sorry, but I figure he's too afraid of you to cause any trouble."

Unfortunately Drakken had discovered Kim's secret weakness. "The second season of Captain Constellation was probably the strongest. But the third episode of the season was unusually weak. Cesar Romero was too manic as the villain. And there was character inconsistency. It was clearly shown in season one, episode seven, that lieutenant Spandex had a pathological fear of germs, and yet in the Tiny Trouble on Farquar Station episode he..."

Kim held on grimly to her sanity under the blue man's attack, but after eleven minutes of the Captain Constellation barrage a nervous tic began in her left eye. With her remaining strength she dragged the villain to Wade's office. "Tag. You're it."

"No fair! I had to take him to the bathroom!"

"Oh, speaking of that," Drakken mentioned, "I think the last of those Cokes is now wanting to join its brothers."

"Well I'm not taking you again," Wade said firmly. He and Kim looked at each other and spoke one word together, "Ron."

Kim's lock picking skills were not up to Drakken's, but Ron's solitaire game was interrupted by Drakken falling into his office.

"He needs to be taken down the hall again."

"Wade–"

"I did my share. And you were the guy who let him have three Cokes on the plane."

Ron called into the suite, "I don't suppose anyone would care to help?"

A chorus of 'No's answered his call.

"You could always cut the tape," Drakken suggested helpfully.

"Not gonna happen, Dude," Ron muttered and dragged Drakken down the hall.

On his return from the unpleasant task Ron deposited Drakken with Shego.

Shego left Drakken with Wade.

Wade returned Drakken to Kim.

Drakken was still in Kim's office when an outraged Mr. Stephens stormed in. "The morticians report two men in a bathroom stall! Together! Committing unthinkable acts!"

"I thought you were into unthinkable acts," Shego told him calmly.

"It was Mr. Stoppable! I–"

Ron appeared at his office door. "Hey, no unspeakable acts. I was helping this guy go to the bathroom."

"What guy? And why did he need help?"

Drakken hearing the commotion took advantage of the confusion. "Help! Police! I'm being held hostage!"

"Who is that?" Mr. Stephens demanded.

"Global Justice prisoner," Ron explained.

Kim came to her office door, "We're holding him until Global Justice gets here... Wade!"

"Yes?"

"The ETA on Will Du?"

"He claims he'll be here in an hour ten."

"See," Kim told the building manager. "In an hour and a quarter he'll be gone."

"This building is not zoned as a prison. This is a commercial establishment and–"

"Call the police!" Drakken shrieked, "A violation of my Fourth Amendment rights! This is cruel and unusual–"

"Eighth Amendment is cruel and unusual punishment," Wade corrected him. "Fourth is–"

"Call the police," Drakken shrieked, "A violation of my Eighth Amendment rights!"

"This is only temporary," Kim apologized. "Global Justice will be here soon."

Mr. Stephens retreated from their suite.

Twenty minutes later Officer Hobble and a patrolman they didn't recognize arrived.

"Arrest these people for kidnapping," Drakken shouted.

"What's up, Kim?" Hobble asked.

"Ron and I captured Drakken this morning. Global Justice was supposed to take custody, but they're running late. An agent should be here in less than an hour."

"Well, send the agent down to the police station. We'll take him off your hands."

"But–"

"Sorry, Kim. You folk may be auxiliary members of the Middleton Police Force, but you don't have the right to detain a prisoner in your office."

Ron began, "Is there any way to–"

"No," the second officer told him. He took the duct tape off Drakken and put him in handcuffs.

"Take him to the patrol car while I take their statements," Hobble told the second man as he gestured at the occupants of the suite. "And watch him! This guy's tricky." As the second officer and Drakken left, Hobble winked at the four, "Take enough time getting your statements here and I shouldn't have to type it up at the station – at least if your GJ agent gets here as fast as you say."

Ron sighed. Kim and Wade appeared Stoic. And Shego simply looked annoyed as Hobble asked questions. Finally Hobble told them, "Well, that should do it. I'll take him down to the station now."

Four minutes later Hobble stood in the parking lot, using his walkie-talkie to communicate with headquarters. "Well, when he gets there ask the damn idiot why he left without me and tell him to haul ass back here for me. I'll be waiting at Kim's place."

And eleven minutes after that a U Haul van pulled up in front of the building and Will Du pulled out his cell phone, "Could I get a little help carrying this up? Or would you rather bring him down here?" ... "What do you mean, he's gone." ... "The Middleton Police? Why?" ... "Okay, I'll find a legal parking spot and come up."

Kim and company were happy to let Officer Hobble and Agent Du argue about who was the bigger idiot.

The pair were still going at it when the florist arrived. "Roses for a Ms Shego."

"That's me." She looked at Kim, "Very thoughtful of you."

"It wasn't me!"

"Read the card," Ron suggested.

"It says, 'French or Italian – you never told me where we should go on our first date. Would you prefer a concert? I fear we didn't have time to discuss our mutual tastes in music. Over dinner perhaps? Oh, please tell the Middleton Police their patrol car is parked behind the bakery at tenth and Mill. The officer is in the trunk."

Hobble left to alert headquarters.

"You've certainly made a mess of this," Du said in an accusing tone.

Shego taught him the difference between flying and levitating.


	4. Help Me Rhonda

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names are property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

I'm getting discouraged by the review count going down each chapter.

Chapter title is a 1965 hit from The Beachboys.

**Help Me, Rhonda **

Injury to Will Du had been mitigated by his landing on the U Haul truck roof, although both shared a certain amount of damage. While the good people at U Haul felt no concerns about Will's condition they insisted he pay for the damage to their truck.

Will, in turn, insisted that It's Possible should pay for the damages, and Dr. Director initially agreed with him and called Kim to tell her so. After Kim explained Will's actions Betty Director, who hoped to eventually see the Possible team in Global Justice uniforms, deducted the damages from Will's salary.

The next few days after the Drakken debacle were filled with small, helping-those-in-need missions which warmed the heart and paid no bills.

Wade set his own hours, which often were either very early or very late (and frequently both) so Kim felt no surprise to see his door open when she came in. "What's up?" she called.

"Offer from the State Department."

She walked into his office, "Anything interesting or we give them a polite, 'No thanks'?"

"They always pay well."

"Oh yeah," Kim drawled, "Like the Zatari mission?"

"Hey!" Kim jumped and turned to see Shego standing behind her, wrapped in a towel (and apparently nothing else). "You got a new partner out of the Zatari mission–"

"Intern!"

"Partner!"

"Intern! How did you get here?"

"I live here, remember? Or do you mean the fact I sensed your presence and immediately ran to be with the woman I love?"

"Thank you for putting on the towel first."

"Actually, I was wearing clothes and stripped down... You know, just in case."

"Just in case?" Kim asked.

Shego gave her a wink, and a leer, "Just in case I got lucky. A quickie is a great way to start the day."

Kim blushed crimson and turned back to Wade, who reminded her, "The State Department paid us, the Zatari government paid us, and even if you don't count Shego as an asset–"

"I've got a nice ass!" the green woman protested.

"You're a liability," Kim told her.

"–the point is," Wade continued. "Having the State Department owe us favors is always nice. They've got tons of confiscated property from drug seizures. I think I can swing a Cessna Citation Mustang I saw on the auction list if we accept this."

"Cessna Mustang?"

"Small private jet. You and Ron won't be scrambling with airline tickets anymore."

"Upkeep on a plane is too expensive."

"It will pay for itself with increased efficiency."

"And will increased efficiency pay for a pilot?"

"I'll fly it," Shego offered.

"You're a pilot?"

"I'm a fast learner."

Kim raised one eyebrow in a skeptical manner.

"Hey, when I want to learn something I'm so fast you won't believe it."

"That I don't believe."

"See, you're proving me right." Shego looked at Wade, "So, what's the job that gets us the jet?"

"No jet," Kim said firmly. "But what's the job?"

Ron walked in and caught the tail end of Kim's words, "Yeah, what job? Whoa! Nice towel..."

"Ron!" Kim protested.

"You like it? You want it?" Shego purred and reached up to where one end was tucked to secure the towel around her as Wade and Ron opened their eyes wide in anticipation.

"Shego!" Kim protested

As the towel slipped from her body the green and black catsuit covered her body, the two men had seen nothing, although the green and black suit showed the genie's curves nicely.

"What did I tell you about office attire?" Kim warned.

"This is action wear! We got a mission!"

"You're still not on the insurance policy. I still haven't checked out your abilities."

"It's not like I haven't offered to show you what I can do," Shego purred.

"Do you want me–" Ron started to say.

"Quiet!" Kim barked. "Go make coffee. We'll have a staff meeting and hear what Wade has."

"And I got baklava for the meeting," Shego told them.

"Any chance it's lo-cal?" Wade asked hopefully.

"I do magic, not miracles."

As they gathered around the table twelve minutes later Shego commented to Ron, "Wade thinks we could get a private jet out of this, but Kim says we're not allowed to have any fun."

"It's not a matter of fun," Kim protested, "it's a matter of what's practical."

"I think it would be practical!" Wade insisted. "Regular ticket prices and hiring charters is–"

"Tell us about the call from the State Department," Kim suggested.

"How closely were you following what happened in Hidalgo last month?"

Ron and Shego looked blank. Kim made a gesture with her hand that indicated slightly familiar, "A military take-over of some kind... Friendly dictator?"

"Friendly dictator?" Ron asked.

"Cold War era term," Wade explained. "U.S. would give weapons and millions of dollars to dictators who killed hundreds of their own people as long as they swore they loved us and hated the USSR. We've mostly stopped that. Disputed election in Hidalgo a couple months ago. Both sides claimed victory. Fighting broke out, threatened to escalate into civil war. The army seized power, but claims it just wants a cooling off period. General Diaz, he's the head honcho in the army, says he wants free elections in six months and is in the US to ask the UN to provide independent election monitors."

"So he's a nice guy?" Shego asked.

Wade shrugged. "Don't know. Depends on if he's telling the truth or not. A lot of people in Hidalgo are just grateful he stopped the fighting. Last military junta ruled for thirty-five years. Got some people in Hidalgo willing to kill the general because they favored one side or the other in the disputed election. And probably have a few people willing to shoot him because they remember what happened under the old junta. So State Department wants It's Possible for little extra security while the general is in New York."

"The Feds will have protection up the wazoo for him, what do they need us for?" Ron asked.

"Well, the government has gotten in trouble for fake journalists – journalists complain it brings them all under suspicion and made life more dangerous – but the State Department worries an enemy would be willing to forge credentials. Since you and Kim have real credentials with the Middleton Examiner you'd be in the press corps looking for anything suspicious."

"And me?" Kim asked.

"Latin American diplomatic reception. No one from US government invited. You'd be the escort for–"

"Escort?"

"Just attend a fancy dinner with–"

"No way."

"Jet plane," Ron reminded Kim.

"No way. I don't do escort."

"For a jet, I'll take the mission," Shego offered.

"You're willing to be arm candy?" Kim asked.

"For a jet, and finally seeing some action? Sure. And as long as he remembers I'm just arm candy I'll grit my teeth and smile. He tries anything and... I've got a journal where I list all the body parts I've broken on 'masters' who confuse genies with hookers."

"And that's why you're staying in Middleton," Kim told her. "You're dangerous."

"A jet," Wade pleaded with Kim. "Our jet."

"Yeah, KP," Ron seconded. "It was great getting a ride in the Global Justice jet, wasn't it?"

"I don't do escorts."

"C'mon," Ron begged. "A jet. It's not like I could do it."

"Why not?" Shego asked.

Ron looked puzzled. "What do you mean? Duh. I'm a guy."

"Alakazam!"

Wade and Kim stared. Ron felt different. Hair brushed the side of his face and the back of his neck. He looked down. His hands came up... "Boobs!" S/He appeared stunned

"What did you do?" Kim demanded.

"I think that's pretty obvious," Shego smirked.

"Wait, you can do that but you can't do lo-cal baklava?" Wade protested.

"This is magic," Shego insisted. "That would be a miracle. Kim does the reporter thing, Rhonda here goes to the ball, and I'm flying a jet!"

Rhonda was regaining her senses... or not. "Mirror! What do I look like?"

"You're hot," Wade told her.

"Dude, I so did not need to hear that from you."

"Well it's true."

"Hey, going to the bathroom to check myself out in the mirror."

As Rhonda left Kim turned to Shego, "Just what do you think you're doing?"

"I work my magical fingers to the bone and this is the thanks I get? Wade wants a jet. Ron wants a jet. I want a jet. You're living in the stone age. You want to ride a camel to a mission or something? At least Ron is a trouper, he's not afraid to do whatever he needs to–"

The door to the office was thrown open as Rhonda ran through screaming "HIDE ME!"

Before s/he could find a hiding spot Mr. Stephens followed her into the office, "Stop that woman! What was she doing in the men's room?"

"You're unzipped," Shego told him. "Is that why you're chasing her?"

"What? I–." The building manager blushed and turned his back to them as he adjusted himself.

"This is... uh, Ron's sister," Wade said by way of introduction. "She, um, just got back to the country from, ah, Norway, and they... with the... over there."

"That's right," Rhonda seconded, "and I... Hey, I even sound like a woman."

Mr. Stephens looked puzzled, "You are a woman."

"Yes, but I don't hear myself very often. I was... There was this monastery and a vow of silence thing."

"Monasteries are for men. And I thought your family was Jewish."

"Those are probably the reasons they asked me to leave."

A small hand gesture from Wade drew Mr. Stephens' attention. Wade nodded his head in the direction of Rhonda, then tapped his forehead in an indication of 'crazy' then whispered, "Runs in the family," just loud enough for the building manager (and everyone else in the room) to hear.

Mr. Stephens nodded knowingly. "Well, try to keep her out of trouble," and left.

"You went into the men's room?" Kim asked.

"Force of habit," Rhonda explained. "I mean, I was raised that a guy never goes into the women's room. It was just automatic. I pushed open the door to the men's room and he was there, doing his thing–"

"And by that I hope you mean standing at the urinal," Wade chuckled, "and not doing something else with his 'thing'."

"Gonna have to get you for that, 'runs in the family' line," Rhonda threatened.

"It got him out of here, didn't it?" Wade reminded him.

"Ron doesn't know how to be a woman!" Kim protested. "There's no way he could pull it off!"

"He doesn't have to pull it off," Wade laughed, "Shego already took it off."

Kim groaned, "Will you stop the man thing jokes?"

Rhonda meanwhile, grabbed her crotch, "It's gone! You can turn me back, right?"

"No problem," Shego assured her.

"Jet plane," Shego reminded Kim. "We can give him a crash course in being a lady." She turned to Ron, "Need a little information on going to the bathroom with your new equipment?"

"Nah, I remember from when I had Kim's body."

"YOU WHAT?" Shego screamed, and Rhonda turned white and looked again for a place to hide.

"Brain switching machine by Drakken," Kim explained calmly. "For a couple days I was in Ron's body and he was in mine."

Shego looked at Rhonda, "I want copies of the pictures."

"Copies of what pictures?" Kim asked.

"The pictures he took of you naked."

"Ron wouldn't have done that."

"He's a guy. It's exactly what he would have done." She looked at Rhonda, "Copies. You can keep the negatives... Do people still use film?"

"Nah," Rhonda told her, "cell phones."

"RON!"

"I mean, if I had taken pictures, I'd have used a cell phone." He looked at Kim, "I didn't say I took pictures."

"He didn't say he didn't," Shego pointed out, then reminded Rhonda, "I want copies."

Wade coughed, "Getting back to the mission. Are we taking it? You'll need to leave soon – since we have to use commercial flights. Going to waste an hour and a half on a layover in Cleveland if you–"

"Cleveland?" Rhonda groaned, "Cleveland?" He turned to Kim, "I'm pretty sure that counts as cruel and unusual punishment."

"You're not being punished," she reminded him, then sighed. "You three really want the hassles of a private jet?"

"Yes." "Yup." "Boo-yah!"

"Fine, but as soon as something goes wrong I get to say, 'I told you so'. Now, what about dressing 'Rhonda'? I don't imagine Ron has any fancy ball gowns in his closet."

Shego shrugged, "Who knows what he has in his closet."

"Expense account," Wade answered. "Keep the receipts."

"Better idea," Shego suggested, "I use a little magic and we write up a receipt for the expense report."

"That's cheating," Kim objected.

"It's not like we're charging them seven hundred dollars for a toilet seat," Shego argued. "I'll bill them wholesale instead of retail."

"I'm going home to get my press credentials," Kim told them.

After Kim left Wade commented, "At least she didn't say, 'And I'll be praying for your souls'."

"You two got souls to save?" Shego asked.

"I got a pair of Nikes–" Rhonda began.

"I'll leave you two to the shoe jokes," Wade groaned. "I got to contact the State Department and set up a ride."

"Life will be easier for you if we get a plane, won't it?" Rhonda asked. Wade nodded. "And you can pilot?" s/he asked Shego.

"I can do _anything_."

"That's Kim's line," Wade told her, standing up. "And I've got one word for you, baklava."

"Okay, maybe I can't do everything," Shego admitted. "But there's a lot of great shit I can do, if Kim will give me a chance."

"Hopefully your great shit includes giving Rhonda here enough information on behaving like a lady to... God, we need Kim here."

"Hey, I can be a lady."

Rhonda coughed gently, "You are, uh, kind of uncouth."

"I've got couth I ain't even used yet."

"Obviously," Wade agreed and left the pair.

Shego briefly considered turning Wade into an armadillo, then decided the best revenge would be to do a great job prepping Rhonda for her job.

Kim arrived back at the office a half hour later and stared at Rhonda in wonder, then looked at Shego. "You designed that?"

The genie tried to look modest, "I don't like to brag but–"

"Chris Benz," Wade called from his office. "I found pictures on the internet. That's just for traveling. Ron will be wearing a Jason Wu for the reception. It's in his garment bag carry-on."

"Got to give you the standard magic outfit disclaimer," Shego warned. "At the stroke of midnight the dress goes bye-bye."

"You're kidding."

"I don't make the rules. But try not to be on the dance floor at twelve o'clock."

"Dancing?" Rhonda asked. "No one told me there'd be dancing."

"We can't be sure there will be," Wade told him in a reassuring voice.

S/He got herself under control, "I'll probably be okay. When I'm out with Kim, she always leads."

"Ron!"

"The reception goes late," Wade explained. "No flights back to Middleton 'til tomorrow so I've got you in a hotel–"

"Separate rooms!" Shego demanded.

"Same room?" Rhonda asked hopefully, then remembered her present condition. "Damn."

"Separate rooms," Wade assured Shego and Kim.

"Separate floors! Separate hotels!" Shego insisted.

"Adjoining rooms," Wade told her.

"You really think you can do this?" Kim asked Rhonda, "Act like a woman, I mean."

"He looks great," Shego assured Kim. "That's all they're going to care about at the reception..." Shego turned to the blonde woman, "Don't tell any fart jokes."

"I don't know any fart jokes."

"An Englishman, a Russian, and an Arab are in a bar, and–"

"Drop it," Kim directed. "I'll talk with him about proper behavior during the flight."

Rhonda had one question before leaving. "And you can turn me back, all the original equipment like you said?" s/he asked nervously.

"Probably."

"Probably? You said you could."

"No, I said 'no problem'."

"No problem means you can turn me back."

"No problem means I've got no problem if you stay a woman."

"Kim!"

"This was your idea," Kim reminded her. "You wanted a jet. Now let's move."

Ruby Walker, their State Department liaison, met them at JFK in New York. She was unhappy to see a strange woman with Kim instead of Ron. She was even less happy to hear that the strange woman was Ron.

"So, you still have the genie?"

"Yeah. But she wants to help."

Ruby looked Rhonda over. "At least she... Do I say she or he for you?"

"I'll take either."

"Let's keep this to ourselves. If the press hears the general is attending the reception with a man in drag–"

"Ron really is a woman, at least for the day," Kim assured her.

"Not how the press will report it. Now let's go."

Kim noticed one reporter packing heat and alerted the Feds. He insisted the unregistered firearm didn't make him an assassin, but he'd spend the night in detention while the government checked his background. If he was clean he'd be released the next day – after the general left the country.

Rhonda was introduced as a highly trained, private security guard. The general did not believe the story and assumed s/he was an agent for the United States government. But to Rhonda's relief he seemed to understand that her sole job was to keep him safe and concentrated on his own job telling ambassadors of neighboring countries that the army did not want to remain in control of the Hidalgo government, that his nation wanted nothing more than peace and democracy, and reaffirming Hidalgo's commitment to mutual regional security issues.

While the general remained a gentleman a few members of the diplomatic corps imagined his lovely escort was some sort of professional woman, and offered Rhonda the chance for a little extra income.

_"We're getting a jet. We're getting a jet,"_ s/he reminded herself when one of the more persistent ambassadors kept offering more money. _"Don't hit him."_

Shortly after midnight Kim's phone rang. "Yes?"

"Kim! You gotta help me!"

"Ron! What's wrong?"

"I'm naked!"

"Naked? What happened? Where are you?"

"My clothes... even my underwear... at the stroke of twelve. Ladies room, the Hilton with the reception. Third floor. Get me some clothes!"

The security guards for the diplomatic reception wouldn't let Kim onto the third floor. Kim took out her cell phone and called their liaison. "Ruby? We got a problem."

"Can you contain it?"

"Probably, but need your help. Reception security won't let me onto the third floor of the hotel."

"You had the media assignment. You shouldn't be at the hotel."

"Fine, but someone needs to bring clothes to Ron."

"What! Clothes to Ron? Did the general try–"

"His clothes vanished at midnight. It's some crazy genie thing. Anyway–"

"Did it happen during the reception?"

"I don't know, but it would look bad if–"

"Is he still a woman, or did he turn back too?"

"He still sounded like a woman. He wants clothes. There are still media in the lobby."

"You at the Hilton?"

"Yes."

"I'll be there as fast as I can. Do you have clothes for Ron?"

"Yes."

"Great. Just remember, our highest priority is keeping this out of the media. Half-clothed woman leaving the third floor would play badly on CNN."

The rest of Kim and Ron's New York trip lacked any excitement.

Four days later the Cessna Mustang that had been up for government auction was delivered to the Middleton airport, via truck.

The staff of It's Possible drove out to the hanger to see their acquisition.

"Hate to say, 'I told you so'," Kim commented. "But I told you so."

"This is a plane?" Ron asked in disbelief. "What happened."

A disappointed Wade sighed. "It was confiscated from some drug kingpin. Maybe he tried to have it modified for... My guess is that the DEA did a number on it looking for hidden drug compartments."

Ron looked at Shego, "Can you do your magic thing and put it back together?"

Shego had been thinking frantically since the hangar doors had been pushed open. She could easily fix broken things – even if she didn't understand what they were. This was more than a simple break. She was lousy with technology. Even if she hadn't been in detention for insubordination at genie school the technology of that era had been low tech compared with the twenty-first century. She hated to admit any weakness.

"Well," she said slowly. "I can fix it..."

"Great!" Wade smiled. "Do your alakazam and–"

"Some magic is a little slower than others," Shego warned. "I want to make sure it's done right. Give me... I don't know... I can probably have it fixed up better than new in about a week."

"A week?" Ron asked, hoping they could try the jet out that day.

"If she has it in flying condition in a week I'll call that magic," Kim told him.

"I can do it," Shego promised.

The genie had a plan in mind. She didn't consider her promise a lie. Hopefully the plane would be fixed in a week, and it would certainly require magic. The green woman just hoped Kim didn't find out how magic would be used in getting the repairs done.


	5. I Fought the Law

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Inspired to write by the number of reviews. Kind of a slow chapter, but sets up other things.

'I Fought the Law' was written in 1958 by Sonny Curtis, who replaced Buddy Holly with the Crickets after the day the music died. The Bobby Fuller Four had a hit with a cover in 1966.

**I Fought the Law (and the Law Won)**

The cell was designed for two inmates. The prison was overcrowded, but the cell held a single occupant. He enjoyed his relative privacy. Should any inmate exhibit recalcitrant or obstreperous behavior guards could usually count on improved cooperation with a threat of moving the individual to Motor Ed's cell.

Rumors circulated about what Ed might do to anyone unfortunate enough to end up assigned to his 'home'. No one knew if the rumors were true. No one wanted to find out. In two fights in the prison yard he'd sent five men to the prison infirmary. He hadn't started the fights, but he had finished them. On two other occasions large, new inmates tried to establish their own reputations and make names for themselves by challenging Ed. They succeeded. They shared a reputation for being the two biggest idiots in the prison, with one picking up the nickname 'Flat Nose' while the other was referred to as "Shit for Brains."

Ed was accustomed to being treated with respect by everyone. He liked it like that. It put him in a good mood, and other inmates, guards, staff, and the warden liked seeing Motor Ed in a good mood, it was good for prison morale and their own peace of mind. Since he was accustomed to respectful treatment the rude two a.m. awakening upset him.

"Wake up!" the feminine voice demanded.

Ed didn't bother to open his eyes. It was obviously a dream, and an irritating one.

"Wake up!" the voice repeated.

"Go to hell," he advised his tormentor, "seriously." Do dreams listen to you when you talk with them? He wondered if he was talking in his sleep. _"Whoa, if I'm asleep, can I wonder if I'm talking in my sleep?"_ He felt a hand on his shoulder, shaking him. The dream was incredibly realistic as well as annoying.

He opened his eyes. A blonde woman with faintly green skin stood in his cell, clothed in a tight-fitting green outfit. A gorgeous woman. Alone in his cell. Two in the morning. Green skin. Obviously a dream, but it might be a nice one. He'd heard there was some word for knowing that you're dreaming while you're dreaming. He didn't remember what it was, or care.

He grinned, sat up, and patted the cot beside him. "Sit here, Babe. Do we talk for a minute first, or get right to the good part?"

"Babe is not my name."

"You're in my dream. You're Babe, seriously."

"I'm not a dream, you moron. I'm here to get you out of prison."

"You're green. You're in my cell. And you're here to get me out of prison? This dream is making no sense."

"You really think you're dreaming?"

Ed looked puzzled. He'd never been asked in a dream if he was dreaming. Was that even possible? "I'm not?"

She slapped him. "Still think you're dreaming?"

"Okay, Babe, I'm awake. You're in my cell. And you're going to get me out? How did you get in?" He looked at her more closely. She was not a real blonde, not with eyebrows that dark. His best guess was she was trying to be in disguise. He'd file that piece of information away for later.

"I broke a couple laws to get here, including laws of physics. I need you for a job."

"What kind of job?"

"You're in prison. I'm offering you a chance to get out. And you're asking what the job is?"

"I got my standards, seriously. I left a nice job 'cause I don't put up with jerks. There's stuff I won't do. Now, Babe, what's the job?"

"Stop calling me Babe."

"Give me your name and maybe I'll use it. But you came lookin' for me – so you need me more than I need you."

"You'd stay here when I'm giving you a chance to get out?"

"Depends on the bullshit you're giving me, seriously. Now, what's the job?"

"I got a plane, in bad shape. I promised someone I could have it fixed in a week. Someone said you're the best at–"

"Damn straight. What kinda plane? What's the damage?"

"Um, Citation Mustang, and–"

"Cessna Citation Mustang, check"

"Yeah. It was some kind of drug seizure or something. Either the drug guy or the Feds did a number on it."

He asked some structural questions.

"If I had the slightest idea what you're talking about I wouldn't need you to fix it. Can you do it?"

"Need to see it," he shrugged. "Good plane. Not a great plane. It's your father's four door sedan of private jets. Now the Porsche Panamera Turbo S of private jets is–"

"Doesn't matter. This is what I've got. Will you take the job?"

"Told you, need to see the Mustang. One week? Then what happens to me?"

"I don't care. Go wherever you want."

"Not making no promises... How am I gonna see it?"

"Take my hand."

"Take your hand? Seriously, have you noticed we're in a cell?"

"I got in. I can get out. Take my hand."

Ed got off his bunk and took the woman's hand. She walked straight for the bars. The green woman passed through them like the were a holographic projection. Wondering again if he were dreaming he hesitated and she pulled on his arm, "Come on!"

The guards they walked past didn't appear to see the two.

They began to pick up speed, or rather the world around them picked up speed. Ed felt like he was walking at a leisurely pace, but the buildings and outdoors were now whizzing by as if Ed were traveling at hundreds of miles an hour.

Abruptly the green woman let go of his hand and movement stopped. "I'll get the lights," she told him.

The lights revealed they were inside a hangar. He had no idea where.

"Well?" Shego demanded.

"Lemme look it over."

He spent half an hour looking it over. "Someone ought to be run over with a dump truck, seriously, cutting up a plane like that."

"It can be fixed?"

He nodded.

"I've even heard you can modify things and make them better."

"Yep."

"Could you do that here?"

He nodded again.

"In a week?"

He shook his head no. "Not by myself. I got a guy does my sheet metal work. You bust him out and get him what he needs and we can have it put back like it was in five, six days. You want it pimped out? Need to bust out another of my buds. Three of us can have it tricked out in a week. Oh, and materials. You're going to have to buy or steal some really fine parts, seriously."

Shego chewed her lower lip.

"Make up your mind," he told her. "Ya busted me out 'cause you wanted me to do a job. I don't do half-assed work. That's what it'll take to do this baby up right."

"Deal."

"'Kay. Now, I need Slick Eddie and Edward. I'll tell you the pens where they're doing time. You get back with them and I give you a preliminary list of tools of materials. You get 'em while we catch up on interrupted sleep, and if you got some shit for us to work with we can start the job when we wake up."

"Motor Ed, Slick Eddie, and Edward? That's weird."

He stared at her blankly, "Why?"

"It's... Never mind. Where can I find them?"

* * *

Kim arrived promptly at the office, as usual. She would try not to point out to the others that she had warned them that getting the jet was a mistake. As she pushed open the door to the It's Possible suite she found Shego, asleep at her desk in the reception area. Kim closed the door carefully to not disturb the sleeping woman. Part of Kim's behavior was common courtesy. Kim had a selfish motive as well, Shego could be very annoying when awake. The green woman had no set schedule, and was free to sleep – but Kim wondered why she was dozing at her desk instead of in her rooms. The redhead guessed the genie might have been working on the jet during the night, and further guessed the green woman had wanted to get some work done instead of just going to bed. Kim smiled, she admired the older woman's dedication to hard work and doing the right thing.

Wade caught the door when he entered and closed it softly to keep from disturbing Shego.

Ron, late a usual, didn't notice Shego in time to catch the door when he ran into the office.

Shego sat up, startled, "What?"

"Sorry. Go back to sleep."

"No," she yawned. "Staff meeting?"

"Yeah, got to make the coffee."

"Motor Ed broke out of prison last night," Wade informed the others during the meeting.

"Drakken help him?" Ron asked.

Wade shrugged. "Don't know. Weird though, locked the cell door behind him. No evidence it was tampered with."

"Must have been Drakken," Shego told the others. "I mean, locked door – weird, right?"

"Maybe we should go looking for Motor Ed," Kim suggested.

"NO!" Shego said sharply. "Er, I mean, you said you just let the police take care of him... Not a big threat."

"We don't worry much about Ed on his own," Ron said, "but gotta agree with Kim. Drakken is always a lot more dangerous if Ed is backing him up."

"But we don't know he's helping Drakken," Shego argued.

"You just agreed that it sounded like Drakken broke him out," Kim pointed out.

"Circumstantial evidence! It would never hold up in a court of law."

Wade looked puzzled, "Court of law? One is an escaped felon and the other has a mile long list of warrants out for him. They're both wanted."

"Drakken's no threat," Shego told them. "Rufus could take him out. Motor Ed? A guy with a mullet who steals–"

"How did you know he wears a mullet?" Wade asked.

"You told me."

"No I didn't."

"Sure you did, you just forgot."

"Wade had total recall," Kim pointed out.

"Someone told me... Maybe it was my genie vision."

"Genie vision?" Ron asked.

"I don't recall any stories of genie vision in folklore on the subject," Wade told her.

"Secret genie power. Top secret. Don't tell the genie guild I told you or I could be in deep shit."

"Could you give us the address of this genie guild?" Kim drawled. "In case I want to check out references from former employers or send in a performance evaluation?"

Shego looked thoughtful for a couple seconds, "No. I think I'd prefer not to give you the address."

"Why am I not surprised," Kim sighed. "Late night? You were asleep at your desk this morning. I wondered if you were working on the jet or something."

"Yep," Shego boasted. "I'll have it ready in a week, as promised."

"Cool," Ron responded. "What did you do last night?"

"I..." Shego began.

"I don't understand why you can't just do your magic thing and fix it," Wade commented.

"There are all kinds of limits on magic that you lay people don't appreciate," Shego told them. "Remember Rhonda's dress at that reception last week? Do you really want to be cruising along at about ten thousand feet and all of a sudden we hit magical turbulence–"

"Magical turbulence?"

"Magical turbulence," Shego told Wade firmly. "And anything fixed just with magic disappears – like Rhonda's designer gown. You want to be in it when that happens?"

"Heck no," Ron agreed. "Hey, can you do magic shielding?"

"Magic shielding?"

"We got a couple people who sometimes use magic... Monkey Fist is one. Anyway, is there any kind of magic that could repel other magic?"

Shego smiled, "That's a great idea."

"So, you can do it?" Kim asked.

"Don't know. I'll check my manual. But it's a great idea. Can I bring up insurance?"

"For the jet? I think you need to get it fixed first."

"For me... Well, the jet too. When am I going to be on the policy?"

"Look, I still don't really know what you can do... But I've talked with our agent... You'll probably be on the policy next week."

Shego did a victory pump with her fist, "Hot damn! Action!"

"Limited action – at least at first. You've got to be able to work with Ron and me."

"When you're with me you don't need Ron."

"And that statement is why you don't go on anything important at first. Ron and I are a team, we go together. Salt and pepper. Cinnamon and sugar. Lewis and Clark. Batman and Robin."

"Rosencrantz and Guildenstern," Wade suggested.

Ron threw out, "I'm thinking Romeo and Juliet."

"Ron," Kim blushed.

"And Romeo and Juliet killed themselves," Shego pointed out. "I can see Kim doing that if she's stuck with you. I'm thinking Martin and Lewis, one is sexy, one is dumb, and they break up."

"Kim is not dumb," Ron insisted loyally.

Shego and Wade laughed as Kim fumed. "Did you use magic to make him say that?" the redhead demanded.

"I didn't have to. He's probably been saying stuff like that for years, you just didn't notice until you had a better offer throwing herself at you."

"What did I do?" Ron demanded. "I said Kim was smart."

"Don't wait for anyone to say that about you," Shego warned.

Rufus merely shook his head sadly and looked away from Ron.

To Shego's relief Motor Ed did not come up again at the staff meeting that morning. Ron and Rufus departed to be celebrity guests at the grand opening of a new video game store in Middleton. Kim headed to a cleanup project at Yellowstone. And Wade studied satellite images from Ethiopia and consulted an archaeological team on the best possible sites for Axumite ruins.

* * *

Back at the hangar Shego had no idea what Slick Eddie, a short man with a greasy Elvis pompadour and bad complexion was doing on the metal lathe. Edward, a big man with a bald head and walrus mustache, and Motor Ed had the jet looking worse than it had earlier.

"What the hell are you doing? You're supposed to be fixing it, not wrecking it!" the green woman protested.

"You know how to fix this?" Ed asked.

"No."

"Then shut up, seriously. Edward and I are reinforcing every joint and stress point. Got to do that before we put the skin on. I'm going to goose the cruising speed on this baby nineteen to twenty-one percent. Be hell on the fuel economy, but you want speed. And you'll sure as hell need what we're doing to avoid metal fatigue."

"Metal fatigue?"

"You want me to do the job, you just shut up if you don't understand what we're doing."

"Sorry. I just want to know understand what you're doing."

"Well, you don't. So just stand there and look pretty. Or, better yet, get us some brewskis."

"Brewskis?"

"Beer. This is thirsty work. And it's hot in here. Seriously, can you air condition this place or something?"

"Okay... Can you give me a rough idea of the schedule you imagine?"

"You wouldn't understand the details."

"I'll bring the beer if you give a simple version."

He nodded, and made a sweeping gesture at the jet. "Three, four days tops, we have it back together – and stronger than ever. Edward and I spend another couple days tinkering with engines and controls... Got ideas for some extras... If you've got the money, honey, I've got the time. Slick Eddie will be working on the interior after he finishes up the fabrication work."

"Okay, I'd like–"

"Whoa, Babe, talk with the pompadour if you want chintz curtains back there."

Shego gritted her teeth, "I told you to stop calling me Babe!"

"Giving me your real name?"

She shook her head no.

"Then you're Babe, seriously." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out another list of parts and tools. "Get this after you cool this dump off and bring us the beer. We might need it as early as tonight."

Slick Eddy absolutely rejected her proposed clover green and ebony color scheme for the interior, but grudgingly accepted a citrus green and granite gray. He vetoed her suggestion of mahogany trim and said bamboo would be used. Knowing something of Ron's eating habits Shego vetoed his idea of suede seats as too difficult to maintain and he accepted her counter proposal of soft Corinthian leather.

Shego had a couple ideas of her own for the interior, but was not sure if they could be done. Even if she hadn't spent a lot of time in detention rather than the classroom, working with jet planes was not in the curriculum when she attended genie school. She assumed the genie manual could give her an answer, but the index was dreadfully out of date and there was no searchable database online to help.

* * *

Shego gave an cautious optimistic status report the next day, and asked a question, "We need any kind of weapons system on that?"

"Yes!" Ron answered promptly.

"No," Kim told her. "It would be illegal. We're just using it for transportation."

"C'mon, KP, we got enemies. It would be so cool to–"

"No."

* * *

It did look like the jet was coming back together on Shego's next trip to the hangar.

"I was curious about the extras you said you were planning yesterday. Any of them armaments?"

"Nah, this wasn't built to carry ordnance. Why you wanted some?"

"Mostly curious."

He thought a couple seconds. "Couple machine guns – front and back – wouldn't be too hard."

Shego shrugged, "Eh, low priority. I'm not planning to shoot anyone, but if you're running ahead of schedule it might be fun, just make sure they aren't visible."

He gave her a wink, "Got it, Babe."

* * *

The green woman's devotion to her work had drawn Kim's grudging respect. It seemed like Shego was groggy every morning from her efforts through the night. Although Kim was surprised a couple days after the first time she found Shego napping to see, "Why are you blonde?"

Shego yawned, then looked startled, and her hair quickly reverted to it usual tone. "Uh, fallout?"

"Radioactive fallout?"

"Magic fallout. Sometimes there're side effects. Nothing to worry about."

"So how are your repairs going?"

"Great! Fabulous! I promised you I'd have it fixed in a week and I'm right on track."

"Bring it up at our morning meeting. Ron and Wade will be happy to hear that."

Kim did not give Shego the chance to bring up the issue of progress at the staff meeting. "Shego says she's doing great with repair work on the jet."

"Wonderful!" "Cool!"

"Hey, can I see how it's going?" Ron asked.

"NO! Er, It's still, ah, a work in progress–"

"I know that, I just want to see how it's coming along."

"Bad luck to see it before its done. Besides, it'll spoil the surprise. I want to open the hangar door and hear you go, 'Oooh!'."

"But–"

"Let her have her grand unveiling," Kim suggested.

"I guess... Hey, so next week can can fly out to missions?"

"Yes," Shego assured him.

"No," Kim told him.

"It'll be ready!"

"We'll have to have it inspected, and you'll need a valid pilot's license."

"Pilot's license?"

"Ah, come on, KP!" Ron protested. "Does the FCC even give pilot's licenses to genies?"

"The Federal Communication Commission doesn't give pilot's licenses to anyone," Wade assured him. "But Kim's right, Shego will need a valid pilot's license from the FAA."

"Have you started your training yet?" Kim asked.

"Well... No. But I told you. I'm a fast learner. In a few days I'll be ready to fly."

"We'll let the FAA decide on that."

* * *

On day five, or rather very late in the night of day five / early in the morning of day six, Motor Ed announced, "I think we're ready for a test flight, seriously."

"Are you sure?" Shego asked nervously. "You're not done."

"Just prettying up. It's ready to fly. Let's take it out."

"Look, I'll be in deep shit with my boss if something illegal goes on."

"And busting me and my buds out of prison was legal?"

"I figure the boss won't know. The plane gets a ticket... Or whatever they do to planes, and I'm in trouble."

"Then let's make sure we don't get caught. Too dark for visual ID."

"Won't they be able to track us with radar?"

Ed grinned, "One of things I want to check. Come into the cockpit."

He pointed out a couple features of which he was particularly proud. "These two covers? Booster one here is a deluxe top speed. It's sustainable, but'll empty your fuel tank in no time – but it might come in handy. Booster two here... Emergency only. Rip the plane apart if you use it too long, but you can outrun a missile with it."

"But not outrun radar."

He shrugged. "I got something else for that." He reached under the control panel and pulled down another small panel. "Put in the machine guns in just for fun. Not loaded now, and hidden from inspection. I'll give you details–"

"You're not planning to shoot out the radar?"

"You know Babe, you're better looking with your mouth shut, seriously. This," he said pointing to a nondescript button, "is something I was working on for the Feds. Radar jammer. Doesn't really hide you as much as it scrambles the signal somethin' fierce. They don't know if you're a flock of crows, a flying saucer, or a fleet of planes, seriously. Hell, they can't even be certain exactly where you are, where you're going, or how fast you're getting there. They know somethin' is out there but they got no idea what."

"I don't..." Shego started nervously, then her curiosity got the better of her. "Hell, let's see what it can do."

The tower for the small Middleton airport was closed for the night, with no planes scheduled for hours, when the jet lifted into the night sky.

"Smooth," Shego admitted.

"I'm a hell of a pilot. We're going to just cruise a bit and check out the controls... Seem to be real responsive."

Shego stared out the window at the lights below. Next week she'd be flying this. She wasn't sure if Ed was simply testing the plane or trying to scare her as they went through rolls, loops. climbs, and dives, she simply loved it.

Suddenly the big man chuckled. "Gonna have company."

"What"

"Couple military jets scrambled to see what's happening. Hot damn! F-22 Raptors!"

"I thought you were going to scramble radar or something."

"I'm running tests. This is the big one. Raptors are good. They can fly circles around a Mustang."

"We're in trouble?" Shego asked nervously. If Kim found out about this she assumed there would be hell to pay.

"They can fly circles around a normal Mustang. This one? I think she'll walk a Thunderbird like she's standing still."

Shego figured Ed had lost his mind, and was about to tell him so when a command came through the headphones. "Unidentified aircraft. Please identify yourself immediately."

"Sorry, Dude, cruising with my honey – and I don't want her daddy to know... 'fraid he'll take her car keys away."

"Unidentified aircraft, this is your last chance to identify yourself."

"Having too much fun, fun, fun," he sang, and hit the radar scrambler and the second booster.

"What happened?" One Air Force pilot asked the other. "My radar–"

"Mine too. What moves that fast? He's gone."

"I didn't get a good view. Too dark."

"May be headed for Middleton. Call TSA and airport security. I'm calling the base and Homeland Security."

"I'll call Middleton police too."

"Roger."

Ed couldn't reduce speed enough to avoid a bumpy landing. Lights around the airport began to come on before they could get into the hangar and sirens could be heard in the distance.

Slick Eddie was sweating, "We're in trouble."

"No you're not," Shego told them calmly.

"If you haven't noticed, we're all prison escapees – and you're the one who broke us out."

"No problem."

"And you probably broke a hundred laws just now," the short man told his boss.

"Only seventeen," Ed told him.

"The Feds are going to be–"

"Shut up and get in the toilet. I'll handle the Feds," Shego told them.

"Toilet?"

"On the plane. NOW!"

"That dinky–"

She considered turning the trio into frogs. But then she'd have to kiss them. "NOW!" she thundered in a voice that got Slick Eddie moving. He opened the small door and gasped, "That's impossible!"

"What?" Ed grunted.

"It's like... It's.. There's a spa in there!"

"Move it."

Shego had two minutes to calm down before the knocking. "Anyone in there? Open up!"

"Who is it?"

"Airport security. Open up."

"What's the problem?" Shego asked as she opened the door.

"Unidentified plane. Think it landed in Middleton. What are you doing here?"

"Working on my plane," she said and gestured at the Mustang. "Got here a mess. It's almost ready to fly again."

"So you weren't out tonight?"

"Not me."

One of the TSA men thought the jet looked capable of flight. He walked over and put his hand on the engine. Cold.

"It hasn't been out," he told the others.

"It's a Cessna, it could have never hit the speed the Air Force reported."

"They could have been wrong."

Another man asked Shego, "Did you hear anything?"

She shrugged, "I heard something. I wasn't paying attention, someone taxiing somewhere."

Mechanics had been at work in two other private hangars. They'd seen nothing, but heard someone taxiing.

* * *

Shego went proactive at the meeting the next morning, asking Wade, "Did they find the bogey this morning?"

"Bogey?" Ron asked.

"UFO," Wade explained.

"Flying saucer? Cool."

Wade sigh. "UFO means unidentified flying object. If you see something in the sky and you can't identify it, it's a UFO. There was something flying around near Middleton early this morning. They thought it might have landed here."

"I was out at the airport and got questioned," Shego told them. "Mustang is almost done maybe we can go looking for the bogey next week."

"Yeah!" Ron agreed enthusiastically.

"We don't need to go looking for trouble," Wade told him.

"And you'll really have the jet fixed?" Kim asked the genie. "I'm impressed. And the your magic won't disappear?"

"Very little magic... You'll love the toilet and galley. Jet won't fall apart if they revert back. It's costing me a ton of money, but it'll be worth it."

"I hadn't realized you were spending your own money. We'll pay you back for your expenses."

"Don't worry about it," Shego told her. "I just want some action."

"We'll pay you back," Kim insisted.

"How are you getting the money?" Wade asked. "Counterfeiting is against the law."

"Counterfeiting! I've never been so... Seldom been... Okay, I get unjustly insulted all the time–"

"Justly too, I imagine," Wade interrupted.

"Well, yeah. But I'm spending my own gold – good Sasanian gold dinars."

"The Sasanians minted very few gold dinars," Wade told her. "The silver tetradrachms were the largest coins used, but drachms were more common, with fractional silver coins and bronze and copper also."

"I don't care what your books say," Shego argued. "They minted a ton of dinars. I know 'cause I've got piles of them in my retirement fund - and you'll probably see a bunch that I spent for tools and things hitting eBay pretty soon."

"So when do we see it?" Ron wanted to know.

"Give me a day or two to finish the detailing and clean out the hangar... You don't want to see the mess I've got there right now."

"Sounds good," Kim agreed, "and I'll bring someone along to give it a safety inspection."

"A safety inspection," Shego protested, "don't you trust me?"

"I don't," Ron chimed in.

"Not about trust," Kim told her. "I want everything to be legal, so it needs an inspection and certification. It's the law."

"Oh, yeah," the genie laughed nervously, "mustn't forget the law."

* * *

"It looks fantastic," Shego told the trio when they finished their work. "You need your own reality show or something. Fixing shit up so it works great."

"Thanks," Slick Eddie agreed.

"But now that you're done, I need you out of here. I'd like to talk with Ed for a couple minutes on your getaway. Beer is in the cooler."

"Save one for me," Ed growled as the other two left.

"Got another fast job," Shego said quickly. "I'll grant you a 'get out of jail free' card for a future escape."

"And for my buds?"

"I just need you."

He made an 'I don't care' gesture with his hands. "They busted their humps fixing your Mustang, seriously."

"I got them out of jail!"

"Call it a bonus."

"Fine. I've grant them each a 'get out of jail free' card too."

"What's the job?"

"I want you to teach me to fly."

Ed started laughing. Eddie and Edward looked over, wondering what was so funny. The big man finally got himself under control. "Know you love me, Babe. Easy to understand. Don't have the time to stick around, you know I'm just a good loving, rambling man."

"What I know is you've got a swelled head. It'll take ninety seconds."

"You got no clue what you're asking."

"And you've got no clue what I'm going to do. Deal or no deal? Another jail break for each of you."

"Ninety seconds?"

"Tops."

"Deal."

Shego picked up a wrench and extended toward Ed. "Take the other end," she told him. He grasped the wrench and she told him, "Say, 'I freely teach you what I know about planes.' Say it three times."

"This is–"

"Say it," she barked.

"I freely teach you what I know about planes. I freely teach you what I know about planes. I freely teach you what I know about planes."

Shego looked dizzy as he finished.

"You okay, Babe?"

"I... Wow, I had no idea."

"You need a drink, seriously."

"No, it just may take me a couple hours to assimilate everything. Let's talk getting out of here. You can fly the three of you anywhere you want. I'll fly back."

"You don't know how to pilot."

"I do now, and... Wait, transponder codes! If we take the plane out... How did... You turned it off for the test flight?"

Ed grinned, "Yep. And now we've cracked the transponder and put some presets on it, recognized private jets that are mothballed, and got some pilot names."

"So, where do you want to go?"

"Thinking our old stomping grounds, New Jersey."

Shego sat in the co-pilot's chair on the trip east. All of the instruments, dials, and switches looked familiar.

As they flew over Pennsylvania Shego issued a warning, "I figure there's a good chance you'll try and steal this."

"Never thought of that."

"Of course you did. You know I got you out of jail with magic, you've seen the toilet and galley on this plane. Try anything and I turn you into frogs."

"Never considered stealing it for a second," Ed lied.

"Good."

"Quite the babe, huh Boss?" Slick Eddie commented as they watched Shego take off for the return flight.

"Seriously," was all he answered. _"A green dame who does magic. Cousin Drew's never gonna believe this._"


	6. Point Me at the Sky

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners.

Those are real names for Shego and her brothers.

Many consider Point Me at the Sky, recorded 1968, a somewhat obscure Pink Floyd recording.  
_I've finished my beautiful flying machine  
And I'm ringing to say  
That I'm leaving and maybe  
You'd like to fly with me  
And hide with me, baby_

**Point Me at the Sky**

Ron arrived at It's Possible hoping that the usual morning meeting would be canceled in favor of heading to the airport to see the restored plane. Shego was in Wade's office when he stuck his head in the young man's door to suggest they leave now.

"Make coffee," Wade told him. "Meeting at nine-thirty."

"Ah, man," Ron complained, "when are we going out? I want to see it."

"Two," Kim called. "There'll be someone there to inspect it before we'll be allowed to use it."

"And give me a license?" Shego called to Kim.

"If you pass the tests."

"I'll pass!" Shego dropped her voice and complained to Wade and Ron, "I don't know why she insists I need a license. I can fly great!"

"Kim likes everything done right," Ron reminded her.

"Besides," Wade added, "if you can fly well it won't be a problem to pass the tests."

"I–" Ron started.

"Making coffee?" Kim called "Or want me to start a pot?"

"I'll do it," Ron answered. "Mr. Stephens asked you not to make coffee, remember?"

"That was an accident! It'll never happen again."

"Not if Ron can keep her away from the coffee pot," Wade whispered to Shego.

"I heard that!" Kim called,

"She has great hearing," Ron commented as he headed for the break room.

"And a nice body," Shego said loudly enough to be heard.

"I didn't hear that!" Kim called.

"Want me to repeat it?" Shego offered.

"No! I meant I was pretending not to hear it."

"Too late now."

Twelve minutes later Kim took a sip of coffee to wash down the zucchini bread and called the meeting to order, "How's the paperwork coming?" she asked Wade.

"What paperwork?" Ron wanted to know.

"For Shego," Wade explained. "She's an alien and–"

"I thought she was a genie?"

"I am a genie, you idiot," Shego told him.

"Okay, I thought maybe the green skin meant–"

"Alien means not a citizen of the country where you live," Wade explained. "And there are a lot of rules. We're calling in a favor from the State Department to get her a green card so she can work."

"And the forms just got here," Kim told Ron. "Wade and Shego will fill them out before we go the airport."

"We don't have any missions scheduled, do we?" Ron asked. "I want to see the jet."

"Nothing scheduled," Wade assured him.

"But we're always on call," Kim reminded him. She looked at Shego, "A week ago you couldn't fly. You're sure you can now?"

"Positive. I told you, I'm a fast learner when I want."

"Well, with the paperwork being a high priority I suggest we adjourn," Kim suggested. No one objected and she moved to her office.

Wade's office was too cluttered with computer equipment to make paperwork easy, so he brought the forms out to the coffee table in the reception area. Ron sipped his coffee and listened to Wade and Shego work.

"What do I do for name?" Wade asked.

"You don't like Shego?"

"Not sure the government will. Is that your real name?"

The green woman hesitated, "No."

"What is your real name, I'll put it on the form."

"Shogher... S-h-o-g-h-e-r."

"What kind of a name is that?"

"Armenian."

"In case we get an FAA agent who's Armenian, can you speak it?" Shego said something Wade couldn't understand. "What was that?"

"It translates to 'Idiot, do you think I'm Egyptian with an Armenian name?'."

"And of course it was in Armenian," Wade sighed. "Sorry, wasn't thinking. Shego nodded to acknowledge the apology. "Last name."

"Don't have a last name. No one did. Sometimes there'd be a nickname to make it clear which person with a name you meant. We called one brother 'Mjej the vain', and most people called another brother 'Hethum the strong' – but I called him 'Hethum the blockhead'."

"Well, now we have last names, and you need one for the form."

"Khoren, K-h-o-r-e-n. It was the name of my village."

Wade nodded, "Sounds good."

"Shogher Khoren," Ron mused. "Sounds like 'Sugar Kane'. Can we call you that?"

* * *

"What was that scream?" Kim called.

"Ron just left the office," Wade answered.

"I didn't hear the door."

"He went out the window," Shego told her.

"The window? Why did he go out the window?"

"He was having a learning moment. I'm not only a fast learner, I'm also a speed teacher. Ron got a lesson in etiquette and Wade learned why I go by Shego."

Ron returned to the suite seven minutes later and headed to his office for band-aids and iodine.

Mr. Stephens arrived at the suite fifteen minutes after that. "I had complaints from the architectural firm on the second floor and the Better Business Bureau on the first floor of Mr. Stoppable falling past their windows."

"What are they complaining about?" Shego asked.

"I just told you, that Mr. Stoppable–"

"I mean, what do _they_ have to complain about? If Ron chooses to fall past their windows it's no skin off their noses," the green woman argued.

"See here, we have stairs and an elevator no one should be jumping out of windows."

"Is that in the lease? I mean, Ron and Kim are heroes. Maybe he was practicing his dramatic exits or something."

Kim came out of her office to see what was going on, and Ron emerged from his, with Rufus on his shoulder putting a final band-aid on Ron's cheek.

Kim looked at Ron, "Why did you jump from the window?"

"I didn't jump."

Kim looked at Shego, "You threw him from the window?"

"No."

"Don't look at me," Wade told her.

"I didn't throw him from the window," Shego explained. "I dropped him."

"You can't drop people from windows!" Mr. Stephens protested.

"Sure I can. I just did, right Ron?"

"I thought you threw me."

"Hey, if I'd thrown you, you wouldn't have landed in those bushes."

Ron looked thoughtful for a second, "Guess that's true."

"You should tell the architects and Better Business Bureau to mind their own business," Shego suggested. "It's outrageous that they complained about someone falling past their windows."

"He crushed the evergreens when he landed on them!"

"Then let the evergreens complain," Shego told him as Mr. Stephen's face began to turn purple.

"They were damaged! Broken branches! We'll have to hire a landscaper to come in–"

"They're fine," Shego told him calmly. "No damage."

"Yes there was!"

"No there wasn't."

"I saw it before I came upstairs."

"You can look out the window and see there's no damage."

"You can't tell from up here."

"Sure you can," Shego assured him. "Just lean out the window and look – lean way out to get a good view."

Mr. Stephens backed out of the suite, never taking his eyes off the green woman. "I'm going down to take photos for evidence!"

"You do that," she called to his retreating form, "and if you find any damage bring the pictures up here to show me."

"Can we assume he'll find no damage?" Wade asked.

"Not a bit."

"Maybe not to the bushes," Kim objected, "but you hurt Ron."

"Ron and I were having a teaching moment. He learned a very valuable lesson."

"Well stop using pain as a teaching technique. We're all on the same team."

"Tell him that too!"

"He hurt you?"

"No, tell him the same team part."

Kim looked exasperated and returned to her office, allowing Wade and Shego to work on her cover story to explain the holes in her personal history.

"He doesn't seem to like It's Possible," Shego mentioned in regard to their recent visitor. "Why doesn't he just kick you out of the building?"

"I think he'd like too," Wade admitted. "But one time Kim rescued some boy scouts from a flood, and one of them was the son of the owner. So Mr. Stephens has to find something really big to complain about if he wants us out."

Kim and Ron came back from lunch before everyone left for the airport and stared at Shego. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and dark aviator glasses covered her eyes. Shego kept her mouth open as she loudly chewed and popped a piece of gum. Under the open, Russian military jacket she wore a black tube-top and a pair of khaki cut-offs, and on her feet were a pair of Russian combat boots.

"What are you made up for?" Ron asked.

"Wade's idea. It fits the story of why I'm in your country."

"This will not be your normal pilot attire, will it?" Kim asked.

"Nope, magical clothes. They disappear at midnight. You want to watch?"

"That's okay. We're taking Ron's car to the airport."

The man from the FAA, with a pile of forms met them at the hangar.

Before the hangar door was opened Wade made the introductions as Ron fidgeted impatiently. "This is Shogher Khoren–"

"Call me Shego," the green woman told him.

"She goes by Shego," Wade agreed. "We couldn't fill out some of the forms. She doesn't know how many solo hours she has – says it's a lot."

"Where'd you get your training Ms... Shego?"

"Just Shego. Dad trained in the Soviet Air Force. Taught me to fly. We lived in an Armenian village inside Azerbaijani. Things got rough a couple years ago and I got out. Don't have my records, but I know my stuff and I'm ready for the tests."

"Your English is excellent."

"Thanks, I'm a fast learner. You got the written test there?"

"Yes... Will you need a little extra time since English is your second language?"

"Hey, English doesn't make my top five languages. I can–"

"Can we see the plane now?" Ron asked.

Kim, Ron, Wade, and Rufus – who had seen the jet when it arrived let out sounds of amazement when the hangar door was opened.

"I can't believe it's the same plane!" Ron told her.

"There was something wrong with the Mustang?"

"It wasn't in good shape," Kim told him. "It needed work. That's why you need it give it a safety inspection."

"Who was your contractor?"

"That'd be me," Shego told him.

"Well, I'll look it over."

"Can I take the written exam on that workbench?"

"I'd rather you waited until... I'll look around and make sure you don't have any notes. It's an extensive test."

"I'm ready."

"You three," he directed the others, "stand over there so you can't help her."

"I'm pretty sure none of us could help her," Kim told him. "Except maybe Wade."

Before the official was finished with his inspection Shego called, "Finished!"

He glanced at his watch. He had heard of a couple people finishing the written test faster, but this was the fastest for a test he had administered. Of course, speed did not guarantee she actually knew the correct answers. "I'll look it over when I'm done with the Mustang."

The inspection was finished fifteen minutes later.

"Well?" Wade asked. "Does it pass?"

"Yes... Have to think it was over-engineered, but it passes."

"Over-engineered?" Ron asked.

"More re-enforcement than it really needs. Probably from the days when Russia couldn't get the high-quality alloys available here. You should never need it that strong – just extra weight."

"Since the jet passed, will Shego be able to take the flying test today?" Kim asked.

Shego remained calm as the man from the FAA checked her written work. The other members of It's Possible fidgeted slightly, concerned because Shego had never shown an interest in following any set of rules up until now. Shego was fully confident she had passed. Failure to follow rules doesn't mean you don't know them, it just means you don't give a damn.

After finishing her test the official put it on his clipboard, with another form on top, "I think we're ready for the second part of your test."

"So, I passed?"

"With writing colors. We'll see if you can pass this part with flying colors."

Shego did a victory fist pump and smiled at the others, "Told you so."

"Can we ride with you during the test?" Ron asked, eager to get on the plane.

"No, not until I check out how she handles a flight."

He had a battery of questions before he even allowed Shego to touch the controls, but finally nodded and told her to take the plane out. "Good takeoff," he acknowledged as the plane went into the air.

The way he kept checking off items on the papers in front of him made Shego a little nervous, but she assumed he was giving her passing marks for everything.

After a few more minutes of flying he announced, "You passed."

"Hot Damn!" she cried, and followed it up with three full spins, and a one-eighty spin that left the Mustand flying upside down."

"What are you–"

"Showing you stuff you didn't ask to see." Stuff which he had not asked to see included Immelmanns, a hammerhead, a chandelle followed by a dive which slammed the FAA official back into his seat, and a Lomcovak.

"Stop! You'll kill us!"

"No, it's supposed to be like this," she assured him as she pulled out and demonstrated Pugachev's cobra, followed by a barrel roll and an outside loop which left him weightless.

Shego chatted happily as the man beside her began to take on his own green hue as his internal organs shifted unhappily to the changes in g-force and orientation. "Dad wasn't just in the Soviet and Russian Air Force, he was a flight instructor. The best. His commander always said pop could have flown a MiG through the eye of a needle, without touching the sides. At least that's what he told us kids. I can believe it. I know if Russia had their own Blue Angels they'd have asked dad to–"

The FAA man gestured wildly, pointing in the direction he hoped was down at the moment to tell Shego to land.

Cleaning vomit from an instrument panel, even using magic, is never pleasant and Shego set the jet down as quickly as the tower assigned her a runway.

The FAA official staggered off the plane, fell onto the tarmac and lost his lunch as the rest of It's Possible ran out to see what was happening. Recovering slightly the man rolled to one side and reverently kissed the cement.

"What happened?" Ron called.

"I passed!" Shego answered cheerfully.

"You passed?" Kim responded skeptically. "What happened to him?"

Shego shrugged, "Maybe is was something he ate. He told me I passed."

The man had gathered enough strength to sit up. It took a minute before he could speak, "She's crazy!" he told the others, "Crazy!"

"You told me I passed," Shego reminded him.

"That was before... before..." He looked back and Kim, Ron, and Wade. "She's some kind of stunt pilot or something insane. That wasn't safe."

Ron looked puzzled, "Stunt pilots can't get a license to fly?"

"That plane wasn't built for what she was doing! It was dangerous!"

Shego shrugged, "Maybe it wasn't as over-engineered as you thought. We can repeat the test now that I know you–"

"You pass! Don't come near me. I'm not going up with you." He quickly signed a sheet on his clipboard and handed it to Kim. "Provisional license. Real one will arrive by mail in two to three weeks." He headed for the terminal on shaky legs.

Shego watched his departing form and shrugged. "Weird. Usually guys are all over me and he wants to get away. Maybe he's queer."

"We say gay, not queer," Kim told her. "Maybe he saw past the outer beauty to the real you."

"Umm, say that again" Shego purred.

"That the inner you is scary?"

"No the outer beauty part."

"If you're attracted to women why do you use the word queer?"

"Didn't you know there's an effort to reclaim it as a term of empowerment?"

"Was that what you were thinking?"

Shego leered at Kim, "Wouldn't you like to know what I'm thinking?"

"I know exactly what's on your mind – and you should be ashamed of yourself."

"Why don't we put the plane away?" Ron suggested to change the subject. "I can hardly wait to fly to a mission."

The plane back in the hangar, the four had almost reached the parking lot and Ron's car when Wade got an emergency call.

* * *

"Forest fire. Wyoming. Small, but they want it contained fast – asked me to figure wind and weather... I'd like to see it for real, can analyze it better. How about it, Kim? Can Shego fly me there?"

"Only if Ron and I go with you. Maybe we can help."

Kim rode with Shego during the flight. "Just how much power do you have?"

"And by that question do you mean can I put out a forest fire all by myself?"

"I guess that's the question."

"And the answer is no way. I told you. No miracles. If genies had that much power some jerk with a lamp would always be running the whole world. Containing a fire is easier than putting it out. I could probably douse some small sections or stop it from spreading in some direction."

"That still sounds very valuable."

Kim and Ron volunteered to join a ground crew. The woman from the Forestry Service in charge of the operation was initially reluctant to let Wade go up. "Your plane's too small for the thermal updrafts, it's not safe."

"It's stronger than you think," Shego assured her, and a nervous Wade joined Shego and Rufus in the air.

By nine the fire was contained and by ten It's Possible was in the air and headed for Middleton.

* * *

"Kim, check it out! There's a shower in the bathroom!"

"A shower?"

"A shower! We can get the smoke smell and dirt off before we get home!"

"Sounds good. You can take first shower."

He winked at her, "We could shower together. Save water."

"We just fought a fire for five hours. We're dead tired. And you want me in the shower with you?"

"I'm a guy, remember."

She gave him a fast kiss, "I remember. Take first shower. And try to leave some hot water."

Wade, in the front with Shego, enthused about the Mustang. "It was incredible! We... Hey, I bet I could fix something up with the Middleton airport. They owe us a favor. Maybe I could set up a remote switch so we could turn the runway lights on anytime we needed to go on a mission."

Given Kim and Ron's appearance when they left Wyoming Wade expressed surprise when they landed, "You two look fresh."

"Have you seen the toilet, man?"

"The toilet?"

"Like, Shego has a spa there. We took showers."

"Together?" Shego demanded.

"Ron and I are adults, we don't have to answer to you," Kim reminded her. "I'm taking everyone out to eat. Today was great! Shego... Sorry I doubted you, I–"

"I'm great at other stuff too, wink-wink, nudge-nudge."

"And I'm pretending I didn't hear that."

"How about Sláinte?" Ron suggested.

"It's a bar," Kim pointed out.

"Microbrewery, and great pub fare."

Shego turned to Wade, "Want a fake ID so you can try the beer?"

"Shego!" Kim protested.

"Thanks, but I'll stick with diet soda – fewer calories."

It had been a glorious day. A day of excitement. And in the retelling of stories and the camaraderie everyone forgot that Shego was still wearing the magic outfit. Until midnight.


	7. Kung Fu Fighting

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

For good or ill Kung Fu Fighting, by Carl Douglas, was ubiquitous in 1974. I apologize to any readers who will have the song running through their minds for the rest of the day.

**Kung Fu Fighting**

The morning meeting had just begun, with whole-grain apple-cinnamon muffins (Splenda™ artificial sweetener), when Mr. Stevens burst into the office of It's Possible waving the morning newspaper, "Indecent exposure! How does it look to have someone in my office building arrested for indecent exposure!"

"Looked good last night," Ron chuckled.

Kim tapped him hard enough to indicate, 'Quiet.'

"I wasn't arrested," Shego told him.

"Police were called and–"

"Yeah, the police were called. Some stupid busybody had nothing better to do than call the cops. Should have just minded his own damn business."

"Or her own business," Wade suggested.

"You're probably right," Shego agreed. "Must have been jealous."

"What were you doing at a bar without–"

"Microbrewery," Ron interrupted.

"The point is," the building manager sputtered, "why were you naked in a... a... anywhere?"

"I shouldn't be naked in the shower?"

"You know what I mean. In public."

Shego shrugged, "My clothes just disappeared. Happens to people all the time."

"No it–"

"Alakazam!"

Mr. Stevens screamed as he ran from the room.

"I hope the morticians call the police," Shego commented as the naked man fled their office.

"That wasn't nice," Kim told her.

"He deserved it."

"No he didn't."

"And it was funny."

"No it wasn't."

"I say we take a vote," Shego shot back. "Who agrees with me?"

Wade raised his hand. Ron started to put up his hand, saw Kim glaring at him, and put his hand back down.

Wade talked about a project he was working on.

"Ron or Kim need me to fly the jet?" Shego asked.

"Nothing that requires flying today," Wade told her. "But stuff can come up fast."

The genie looked at Kim, "You said I'm on the liability policy?"

"You're on now," the redhead admitted.

"Hot damn! I want some action."

"Kim and I still need to see how you work with a team," Ron reminded her.

The green woman looked back at Wade, "Anything on their calendars?"

"Ron has something at four."

"Gym in half an hour?" Shego suggested to Kim.

"A sparring session doesn't show me how you work with the team."

"Hey, you've been blowing me off since I got here. You need to see what a great fighter I am and you'll dump the chump."

"There is no way I'm dumping Ron."

"You tell her, KP."

"Okay, a sparring session won't prove you have the team skills for a mission with Ron and me, but it'll be a start." Kim looked at her watch. "I'll call around and find a location. We'll shoot for eleven."

Shego nodded agreement.

* * *

Mr. Richardson was standing outside his gym when Kim pulled up. "Here are the keys," he called, and tossed them to Ron.

Kim responded, "Thank you for letting us use the place on short notice."

"No problem, not after you saved my house."

"No big... You staying to watch?"

"Nah, got errands to run for the wife. Just drop the keys through the mail slot when you're done. We don't really open until one." He looked at Shego, clad in her green and black outfit. "This the woman you said you were going to spar with?"

"That's me," Shego agreed.

"Kim here is pretty incredible, but don't worry – she won't hurt you."

"I'm not worried about her hurting me," Shego smirked. "And I'll make the same promise."

Ron flipped on the lights as they entered the back room and Kim climbed into the ring. The redhead turned and offered Shego a hand.

"We're not boxing, are we?" the genie asked.

"No... My style is... I've studied a lot of things, but I'm kind of eclectic."

"And gymnastic, and acrobatic, and cheerlastic," Ron added.

"Cheerlastic?" Kim asked.

"Uh-huh," Rufus agreed.

"What's your style?" Kim asked.

"Probably eclectic too, kind of mixed martial arts," Shego told her.

"Okay, get in your corner," Kim told her.

"Want me to ring the bell?" Ron asked.

"You don't need... Okay, but just a minute." Kim looked at Shego, "I'm testing your fighting ability, not your magic."

Shego tried hard, and poorly, to look innocent, "Of course. You don't trust me?"

"Nope. You can't use magic while fighting. You can't use magic while fighting. You can't use magic while fighting."

Shego was enraged, "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" she screamed.

"Making sure you don't cheat."

"You're going to get us killed! We're in a fight. Suddenly we're surrounded by seven tanks. They've got machines guns, bazookas, and all kinds of other shit pointed at us, and you say, 'Use your magic.' And I tell you, 'You fucked up. You ordered me not to use magic in a fight.' What in the hell were you thinking?"

"I just meant in this fight."

"Well that wasn't what you said."

"Can't I just undo it?"

"Not after you say it three times. Why the fuck did you do that?"

"Can't I just say three times—"

"No you can't. That's the reason for the three times. It's the 'No Oopsie' rule. If you say _anything_ three times you don't get to say, "Oh, I didn't mean to say that." As long as you own the lamp I can't use magic in a fight."

"Can I free you? If I say three times I free you?"

"You can try. You won't be the first master who tried to get rid of me that—"

"I'm not trying to get rid of you!"

"Don't lie to me!"

"Okay, maybe just a little. I don't like being a master. I want people to be free. This is weird for me."

"Get over it. We're here to fight. I'm going to beat you to a pulp for what you just did."

"Dreamer!" Kim told her.

Green fire blazed around Shego's hands.

Kim held up her hands in a T shape, "Hold it! I thought you can't use magic?"

"Not magic," Shego said and hurled a ball of green light at Kim, who dodged. "It's a power I've got. Light, heat, concussive force. Oh, and these are concussive. Hope your health insurance is paid up."

Ron watched with fear from the side of the ring. He had assumed this was going to be some sort of simple sparring match, but Shego was angry and looked like she was fighting for real. Kim was good, but looked like she was pushing past her usual limits to defend herself. "Stop it," he called. "This was just supposed to be a test."

"Shut up," Shego snarled. "She wanted to test me? Well I'm going to show her what I've got if I have to put her in the hospital."

"I can win," Kim called to Ron. "I- OUCH! Don't distract me."

Ron couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Kim working his hard. He wasn't sure, but Shego was at least as fast, appeared to be stronger, and had that green light. Kim had more experience with martial arts, but even though she was holding her own it wasn't clear that she could win. Ron had no idea how Shego had gotten so good, but she was. While she was clearly below Kim in martial skills it wasn't as much lower as Ron would have anticipated – and Kim's experience might or might not be enough to compensate for Shego's strengths. He wondered if he should join the melee. Timing was everything, if he went in too soon Kim would see it as a lack of trust. If he waited too long she might be hurt.

Ron tensed. In the ring Shego knocked Kim's feet out from under her and quickly fell on top of the redhead. Shego grabbed both of Kim's wrists and held her arms spread wide, she leaned across Kim's body, keeping her pinned down. Kim was struggling hard, but Shego's superior strength kept her helpless.

"Not as tough as you thought, Princess?" Shego taunted.

"You haven't won yet," Kim panted.

"Oh, I think I have," Shego smiled. The woman below her was flushed from her exertions, the younger woman's hair splayed around her head like a halo. Shego lowered her lips towards Kim's. The redhead continued to struggle, trying to turn her face away from the older woman's lips, but she was helpless in the hands of her opponent.

Kim's struggles redoubled as Shego forced the kiss. It only seemed to make Shego more determined to prolong her attack on Kim's mouth.

At the side of the gym Ron watched in agony, imagining Kim's anger and wondering what he should do. "Stop," he called. "Fight's over!"

While the women must have heard, neither was able to speak at the moment.

On the mat Kim's struggles grew weaker. She was no longer fighting to avoid the lips of the older woman. Shego thrilled as Kim's lips, firmly clenched together, slowly relaxed and opened. Kim tongue timidly sought admittance to Shego's mouth and the kiss grew in passion.

At the side of the gym Ron stared, speechless, at the change in dynamic. Shego relaxed her grip on Kim's wrists to put her arms around the younger woman.

With a sudden twist Kim was on top. Shego, face down on the mat, had her right arm bent up behind her back, and Kim's knee on her back kept her pinned.

"Well?" Kim demanded.

"Cheater," Shego hissed.

"Wrong answer." Kim moved Shego's arm slightly, bringing a groan of pain, but the green woman refused to cry out. "Surrender?"

"Go to Hell!"

"You got a way out of this?"

"No… But only because I'm not allowed to cripple my master with my fire."

Kim eased the pressure on Shego's arm slightly. "You had me down first. Can we call this a draw?"

There was a long pause while Shego considered the offer. "Will you admit you fucked up by ordering no magic when I'm fighting?"

"I… Maybe."

Kim stood and offered Shego a hand to help her up from the mat. Shego rubbed her sore arm. "You were incredible," Kim told her. "I couldn't believe you were as good as you were."

"So I can go on missions?" the resentment still obvious in her tone.

"We still need to work on teamwork with you, but you're on our insurance policies and... Still need get security clearance for you for some missions But you'll be great when you can work with Ron and me."

The two women headed towards Ron.

"Uh, KP… That was some kiss."

"I was faking it, Ron. It was the only way to beat her."

"I was, uh, wondering if…"

"No, I don't fake it when I kiss you."

"Actually, I was wondering if you would."

Kim suddenly grabbed Ron and pulled him to her for a fierce kiss. Her tongue licked his lips, seeking admittance. He surrendered his mouth and began to put his arms around her… and suddenly found himself face down on the gym floor with his right arm twisted up behind his back and Kim's knee pinning him down. "Satisfied?" she demanded.

"Uh, not exactly."

Kim let go of his arm and stood up. Rather than helping him off the floor she just stalked off. Shego offered Ron a hand as he rose from the floor. As he brushed himself off Kim returned and tossed him her car keys. "Please take my car back to the office, I'll walk."

"But KP, it's three–"

"I'll walk." She turned and left.

"Well, somebody was pissed," Shego commented as Ron locked up the gym and put the keys through the mail slot.

"Yeah... With you, me, and herself." The two got into Kim's car and Ron started the engine.

"She needs to relax," Shego told Ron as he backed out into the street.

"Yeah."

"So, what's her problem?"

"Kim doesn't have any problems."

"Hey, she's got a great looking woman and a... a guy with a great personality trying to get her in bed and she won't accept either. She's got a problem."

"No she doesn't... Kim's just... She's dedicated. She's a perfectionist. Sometimes I think she wants to save the world. She needs to take some time off for herself."

"She needs to get laid."

"Changing the subject," Ron announced, "what was that green fire stuff? You claimed it wasn't magic. Then what was it?"

"Hell if I know. It started before I was a genie. Mom and Dad were running the shop. My brothers and I were out working in the garden. Well, we were supposed to be working in the garden. The twins were really too young to help much. Mjej claimed he was watching them. I think he just didn't want to get his hands dirty. Hethum and I were pulling weeds and all of a sudden there was this thing from the sky–"

"A UFO?"

"It was a glowing rock, or a comet... Probably a meteorite. Smacked right next to us... Parents thought we were dead. Hours later, when I woke up, I was green and had this light power."

"And your brothers? Did they survive? Are they green too?"

"We all made it. Different colors. Different–"

"We're here," Ron said, turning off the key. "You should have Wade look you over."

"He looks me over every chance he gets," Shego smirked.

"I mean about your green glowy stuff. He's got the big brain and Kim will want to know if we can use it when fighting."

"Even though she fucked up with forbidding me to use magic."

"You could have explained the rules you know."

Shego opened her mouth to protest. Then closed it, shrugged and got out of the car.

The walk back to the office allowed Kim to regain some control, but she was still angry with Shego, and still angry with herself, and still angry with Ron. Didn't anyone realize how much It's Possible meant to her? This was the opportunity to do good in the world, and set an example to others of paying it forward. She wanted It's Possible to be an inspiration. Ron? Ron would be happy in a cubicle... Ron would be happy anywhere you dropped him. He stayed with her because he loved her, not because he shared her vision. He needed to realize she didn't have time for that right now. Shego? The genie was a dangerous bundle of rampaging hormones and was only with It's Possible because Kim had been tricked into accepting the lamp. Slavery was wrong... Not that Shego seemed very capable of following directions. Kim half wanted to trick someone else into accepting the lamp, and half realized that would be wrong for Shego and wrong for whoever accepted the lamp. There had to be some way to free her, and Kim felt guilty that she realized wanted to take advantage of the genie's magic and fighting skills to do good.

Kim wondered what Betty Director would say when Shego applied for security clearance.

Kim took a deep breath and let it out slowly before she pushed open the door to It's Possible. _"Remain calm. This will work out somehow."_

Shego was not at her desk in the waiting room, and a green light flickered from Wade's open door. "What's happening?" Kim called.

"Wade's office," Ron answered. "He's testing Shego's Hi-Def–"

"Plasma!"

"Same thing."

"No it's not!" Kim stood in the doorway and looked at Shego, attached to various monitoring devices. "She's amazing," Wade commented.

"I could have told you that," Shego smirked.

"Uh, Shego... Look, I'm sorry I messed up during our sparring today. I–" Kim began.

"Forget it," Shego told her. "I'm so good I don't need it... Besides, Doofus here told me I screwed up too. God, I hate that."

"Messing up?"

"Nah, Doofus being right."

Kim smiled, "It doesn't happen often."

"Good. Want to stay and watch? Wade may ask me to strip."

"I... No... Not necessary..." Wade stammered. Wondering if he should have made the suggestion.

"I'm going to check messages," Kim told them and went to her office. She returned a few minutes later. "Mom called. Remember Joss?" Ron nodded.

"Your cousin Jocelyn?" Wade asked.

"Yes. She got accepted a lot of places for college, but she finally made up her mind. She's coming to Middleton!"

"Has she given up the hero stuff?" Ron asked.

"I don't really know," Kim admitted.

"Better think about what you'll tell her if she wants to join It's Possible."

"I'll tell her college first," Kim answered. "Hey, Wade, she's eighteen and doesn't know anyone but family and Ron in town. You should take her out to dinner and introduce her to some people your age."

"I don't know anyone my age, remember? I got my first college degree at seven. People my age didn't interest me."

"Is she as hot as you?" Shego asked.

"She's my cousin!" Kim protested. "She's just eighteen."

"I won't hold either of those against her," Shego promised. "Not when there are so many other things to hold against her." Before Kim could offer further objection Shego asked, "I did great with the fight, right?"

"Yes, you did. You do remember I said team work is important too, and security clearance, right?"

"Hey, no problem. I'm a fast learner, the pilot thing, remember?"

"You're not always a fast learner. I keep telling you no, remember?"

Shego shrugged, "Someday you'll realize you're making a mistake and say yes. In the meanwhile, to celebrate my joining the team officially, how about I take everyone out to dinner tonight."

"Okay." "Great!" "Sure."

"Oh, and Kim?" Shego asked.

"Yes?"

"Can I make an outfit for you to wear?"

* * *

**Author's Note**: I started this as a one shot. Got enough reviews for it that I added chapters. But I had no idea of producing a real story (developing one coherent story-line), nor do I have one now. This chapter essentially ends an introductory arc. It brings everyone together and pretty much defines their roles in the organization.

A Markov, who gives very good advice you shouldn't always take, thinks this would be a good framework for chapters which are independent episodes (like episodes of the cartoon series). I think he's right. Maybe I'll have other ideas for stand alone chapters.

One reviewer, knowing I didn't have a direction, suggested in a PM that I invite readers to come up with ideas/add episodes. Not sure what I think of that idea – but I am mentioning it here rather than denying such a proposal was ever made.


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